Everyone deals with grief and loss. Yes, even college students experience the burden of losing someone and try to cope with that loss. Whether it is a friend, a family member or just someone you knew formerly, either loss compounded with the pressures of growing up and maintaining grades can be difficult and confusing.
Grief is a natural response to loss. Statistics show that 40 percent of college students currently grieve a death within the last two years, and the number of students with chronically or terminally ill parents is not tracked. Grief is not something everyone likes to talk about because it is such a depressing subject, but with almost half of college students going through the grieving process, the topic could offer some insight and help them.
According to helpguide.org, in 1969, psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross introduced what became known as the “five stages of grief.” They are: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. People grieving do not always experience all of these stages, and it is not mandatory that someone go through each stage in order to heal. There is not a normal response to loss because there is not a normal loss.
An article for helpguide.org goes on to list common symptoms of grief. These symptoms are: shock and disbelief, sadness, guilt, anger, fear and physical symptoms such as fatigue, insomnia and nausea to name a few.
It is important to remember there is no normal way to grieve, and there is not a timetable on someone’s grief. Everyone has to navigate his or her own way through his or her grief and figure out how to cope with the loss and keep going with his or her life. It is not easy, and sometimes it feels as if there is no light at the end of the tunnel. But, even though you never forget, you learn to carry it with you and accept the loss in your own time.
Heather Servaty-Seib, counseling psychologist and an associate professor of educational studies, explained students may attempt to evade feelings of grief.
“Many students are not comfortable talking with their peers about grief or family illness because they don’t want it to define them, and, as a result, these students are often balancing stress and sadness on their own,” Servaty-Seib, said.
Colleges and universities recognize the importance of supporting students in these situations through official grief absence policies and student groups. They offer counseling services that help students come to terms with the loss and counselors that continue to help students for as long as they need.
Mississippi State University offers student counseling services in Hathorn Hall. The counselors provide many services such as individual sessions, therapy groups and referrals if you need further help.
Do not be afraid to reach out and ask for help because dealing with loss is hard enough, but added to the pressures of college it can easily become too much for a student to handle alone.
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Grief is natural, seek help if needed
Chelsea Rhodes
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November 12, 2013
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