When I heard my boyfriend’s violent shouting last weekend, I knew that Mississippi State University was losing yet another game without even looking at the score, but his reaction led me to ponder all the things college students — myself included — allow to command their moods.
My boyfriend can hardly stand to watch the Bulldogs this year because he has not yet accepted that no matter how much he screams and shakes his cowbell, he cannot change the outcome on the field. However, his reaction to Mississippi State football is tame compared to the anguish he expresses when the Buffalo Bills perform poorly. I pray weekly that Josh Allen does his job well for my sake.
While I often roll my eyes and chuckle at how he allows this game to determine his mood for not just a day but a week, succumbing to a cycle of anxiety before and during the game that often leads to disappointment. I cannot fuss at him because I do the exact same thing.
Sure, I am immune to the football foolishness. My tutti frutti sno-ball kept me occupied at the game against Florida, and I found the heat much more intolerable than MSU’s defeat. However, I let so many other external factors — from my grades to my friends — control my happiness in the same way.
Every stage of life involves ups and downs, but college especially teaches people to care a whole lot about the way numbers define them. College students worry about their grades because those scores can determine the opportunities they may have in the future. They worry about the number of people who show up to their club meetings or parties and the number of likes on their Instagram posts.
While I am a humanities major and cannot say that numbers are my strong suit, I am at least aware of all these forces that constantly make me reevaluate if I am doing enough — meeting enough people, earning high enough grades and preparing enough for the next stages of my life.
I am not suggesting that people should not prioritize their grades, prepare for the future or even passionately root for their football team. But, I do think that as college students we allow all these activities and aspirations to take over our lives to the point we lose ourselves sometimes. I am certainly guilty of allowing a bad grade on a quiz to ruin my day and impact my interactions with everyone I encounter. I think a lot about the way I drag others down when I allow inconsequential things in the grand scheme of my life to control my joy.
A study published in January on the National Library of Medicine website found college students to have a high prevalence of depression at 48.9% with students with higher grades and more study stress experiencing a higher risk for depression. In case no one has reminded you in a while, I want to say that your worth is not tied to your involvement on campus and your performance on an assignment, and it is certainly not determined by how your favorite team plays.
Mississippi State has so many amazing opportunities for its students, but good opportunities can sometimes overwhelm and stress people when they all pile up. These opportunities should open doors for the future–not command and kill joy in the present.
At the risk of losing all readers by quoting poetry, I believe that some of Mary Oliver’s lines perfectly articulate the question all college students should ask themselves.
“Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” Oliver writes.
I believe this question applies to future careers and travels but also the mundane moments of every day. Big decisions cannot always overshadow the little decisions because the way people allow the tiny quiz grade, one friend’s comment, professor’s critique or even the weather to command their self-perceptions makes a big impact over the course of a semester. When I become aware of good opportunities but also when I encounter daily problems, annoyances and self-doubt, I try to ask if my response aligns with my answer to Mary Oliver’s question.
Life is going to be painful sometimes. Mississippi State football is going to be painful to watch this year, too. However, I ultimately believe that these moments do not define our school or students. A football game – even a football season – should not be the reason a person loses sleep at night and neither should a whole host of other nonsense college students also tend to overemphasize.
