Q: I was in a sexual relationship with a 30-year-old man for three months. He started being a complete jerk, not talking to me or responding to my e-mails. The catch is that he lives with his mom. She checks his mail, e-mail and phone messages. So, to get back at him, my best friend and I sent subscriptions of magazines of questionable content to his house. He will also be getting bad e-mails and calls. What do you think of my actions?
A: Before I begin, many people may want to know how you managed to have a sexual relationship with the guy at all?
You are going by your heart-an eye for an eye. That’s the positive part. The negative part is that you are acting on adrenaline and revenge. You need to sort out your emotions before moving forward.
If your relationship was strictly sexual, this guy doesn’t deserve the garbage you’re putting him through. But, if you two were considered an item, full speed ahead. It depends on how assertive you have been in trying to get a hold of this guy. Have you done your part by leaving him messages without losing your cool? Or did you flip out at the first sign of his ignoring you?
Maybe instead of wasting your energy and money on this schmuck, you could rise above the mess and consider letting it slide. He’s obviously not worth it.
You may think three months is long enough to get angry about his actions. And you may be right. The difference is that three months to you, a college student, seems much longer than it does to a balding guy who is trying to find a lifelong partner.
Since you’ve determined that this guy is the epitome of immaturity, he’s not going to suddenly decide to grow up today. You don’t have to teach him.
On the other hand, if you have a broken heart because you were blown off by this guy, he deserves to be the object of your outrage. You always hear people say what they want to do to shame their former partners, but do we ever see any results? No.
How far will you take your schemes? You’ve proven your point, so start looking for closure-even if he doesn’t offer it.
Keep in mind that his mom may not deserve all of the flack you’re dealing this guy. She did nothing wrong except lavishing her little boy with love to an unhealthy extreme.
If you can help it, don’t drop loads of cash on Playboys. Instead use that money to splurge on yourself-maybe a trip to Fantasyland if you feel deprived.
Crystal will answer readers’ questions. E-mail them to [email protected].