For years groups have been working for true equality between men and women. Over the past 100 years, women have gained the right to vote, the ability to serve in the military and, all in all, the status of full citizenship in our country.
However, in at least one area, women still suffer from gross inequity created by a segregationist “separate but equal” doctrine. Anyone attending a major sporting event or concert knows the longest lines are not at the front gate, but at the women’s restroom.
The men’s restroom, on the other hand, is almost never filled beyond half capacity. Men, guaranteed a toilet in their time of need, amble in and out without a care in the world while women only a few feet away cross their legs, uncross their legs, hold their breath, dance in circles and pass out from exhaustion.
The dorms on campus are almost as bad. Though the restrooms don’t have signs, the popular assumption is that they are for one sex only. The other sex is expected to be escorted down seven flights of stairs simply to go to the restroom and, unless they’re on the way out, go back up those same seven flights. It’s a great cardiovascular workout, but a little much just to relieve yourself.
The solution? Integrate the restrooms. Simply allow everyone into the available facilities as they need them. No longer will women have to wait hours simply to urinate. Men may find their waits extended somewhat, but overall more people will be able to use the restroom in the same amount of time.
The single restrooms can be integrated first. They make no sense anyway. Restrooms with a single toilet, a sink and a lockable door (just like the ones at home, kids) have no reason to be designated male or female. Imagine if people did this at home:
Party Guest: Where are your restrooms?
Host: The boy’s restroom is the empty one right there, but you’ll have to wait in line with the other girls downstairs.
The de facto sexually segregated dorm restrooms can also be integrated.
A person can go in, do his or her business and leave. The showers are in another room entirely, and all of the rooms have stalls. There are no signs saying otherwise and, even if there were, it is just plain ridiculous for two people to run a stair-climbing marathon just so one can attend to natural functions. The escort can even follow his or her charge into the restroom.
Next to go will be the urinals. They’ve been a bad idea since the very beginning. Ever since humans started using restrooms there have been two ways to go. So what genius invented a toilet that uses the same plumbing, takes up the same space but only works for one way to go? Did he even stop to think that 50 percent of the time a urinal is nothing but a deformed fountain? Furthermore, many men don’t like to use them, especially if they’re not shrouded or if anyone else is in the room. Urinals are nearly useless to men, and, of course, women can’t use them at all.
Once the single restrooms have shed their signs and the urinals have been replaced by something designed for human beings, the true integration of the restrooms can begin. Simply make sure that all of the toilets have stalls and all the stalls have functional locks and doors to guarantee privacy. Furthermore, the walls of the stalls could simply be extended all the way to the floor and ceiling to deter any overly daring adolescents. It’s almost as if each stall is a whole restroom unto itself. Voila, true equality for the sexes!
Integrating the restrooms has benefits for men as well. Now, men can finally use the plush couches and big-screen TVs that are a fixture of so many women’s restrooms. Does anyone know why they’re even there? Also, men may finally be able to discern the greatest mystery of malekind-why do women always go in groups? Much is to be gained if we simply give up our urinals and live with slightly little longer lines at the big game.
Of course, some readers will object to the coed restrooms on the grounds of safety. However, crimes usually occur when the victim and the attacker are alone. Integrating the restrooms actually increases the chances of witnesses being around to deter an attacker. Others may object to men’s tendency to leave either the seat down while in use or up after they leave. Nothing may encourage a boy more to clean up after himself than the thought that the person who sees him leave and then uses the stall might be the attractive girl from his English class.
The time for true sexual equality is upon us. Integrate restrooms and eliminate the women’s wait.
Nathan Alday is a senior aerospace engineering major.