In a relationship it is inevitable that somewhere along the line, someone will make a mistake and unintentionally hurt their significant other. When the tears and hugs of forgiveness pass, what keeps the memory of the past from rearing its ugly head?
Chances are if you’re in a relationship there will be times you catch yourself thinking about a painful incident for which you have forgiven your partner and should have forgotten.
If you find that the past is constantly nipping at your heels, you need to consider refocusing your thoughts on this question: Is their mistake worth ruining what you have now and the possibility of a promising future together?
Anytime the past sneaks up on you the best thing to do is to talk to your other about it. Be honest and open with your emotions. Your sweetheart should understand that you are having difficulties forgetting the past and together you can work through it. If you never talk to them your thoughts will destroy your relationship.
Don’t hold a grudge. Fight the temptation to hold the past over your sweetheart’s head. Using the past as a weapon opens doors for animosity on both sides. Not to mention it puts a roof on your relationship when the sky should be the limit.
Obstacles will test the power of any relationship.
It is up to you whether or not you can continue your relationship with thoughts of the past. By thinking of negative aspects of your relationship you’re taking your mind off the excitement and pleasure of being with your sweetheart.
How you deal with twists and turns will determine your relationship’s fate. Although forgiveness is tough and forgetting is impossible, striving for both will bring you closer. Realize that apologies and forgiveness don’t erase the past, but make the present bearable and the future brighter.
This doesn’t mean let your sweetheart walk all over you. If there is real love then the chances of them repeating the mistake are slim to none. However, if your sweetheart seems irritated or unconcerned with your pain, you should question the sincerity of their remorse. You know your sweetheart best, and above all you know if you have a healthy relationship.
Now, if your partner is hanging your past over your head, make sure the wounds are genuinely healed.
Sometimes he or she may say all is forgiven only to bury the hatchet, so be suspicious and concerned enough to make sure that they really are OK. If indeed you deeply care about them, it shouldn’t be a problem to frequently assure them of it.
When it comes to matters of the heart, time plays a huge role. It may be a while for your other to completely get over everything, so be patient.
There will be numerous times throughout your relationships when you think you have been forgiven, and have only smooth sailing to look forward to. However, this is seldom true. The past is always there to surprise you when you least expect it. Whether or not you can survive a wicked revival of the past is a true test of a strong relationship.