The candidates vying for the Democratic Party presidential nomination are numerous enough to form their own baseball team. The nine joined for a debate Tuesday evening. Here is a list of big time strikeouts and surprise long ball hitters. May it help narrow your choice in the primary.
The nine played together well as a team, despite a few minor disagreements. All concentrated on one goal-beat Bush. Even if some players did not do so well at hitting the pitches thrown to them, each made sure to get a good whack at W on the way back to the dugout.
Scouting reports say that all this will change, however. Expect team dissension as the season presses on. Now on to individual performances.
One rule governed the individual scoring of the debate. Candidates must directly answer the question posed to them. Questions answered directly were counted as hits. Not answering the question counted as an out. Opening pitch was at 7 p.m., and I was ready in my seat, scoring pad and pen in hand.
This was no ordinary game. The prize is the nomination for president of the United States, so the format is more like a home run derby or an all-star game. What is normally considered a good batting averages will not do. All batting under .500 are quickly dismissed. Now on to the individual performances.
Former Sen. Carol Moseley Braun went one for three. She charged that Bush “frittered away” our relationship with allies. In the end, she was too caught up in her former glory days. She could do no better than bring up old issues like the 2000 presidential election. By not focusing on the present, she frittered away her shot at president.
Lieberman stepped up to the plate, faring no better than Braun. He led the team in strikeouts with four. Of the six questions posed, only two were answered-not good numbers for a candidate with one loss already under his belt. You were so close in 2000 … Say it ain’t so, Joe.
Sen. John Edwards fared slightly better, batting .400. Not too bad for a rookie, but his three strikeouts did little to impress this spectator. He did answer directly when asked his favorite song-“Small Town.” That’s a good thing because small towns are all he will be playing in front of in the farm leagues.
“Changes in latitudes, Changes in Attitudes” was the favorite song of Sen. Bob Graham. This was appropriate as changes in attitude characterized some of Graham’s answers. Graham hit into the team’s first double play when he answered “yes” and “no” to the same question.
That leaves Democrats with five candidates batting .500 or better.
Rep. Dick Gephardt went three for six. While .500 might be a good average for most, it just doesn’t pay to be the low man in the upper echelon. Looks like the former majority leader is back in the minors for good.
I almost choked on my hot dog when I tallied Dennis Kucinich’s score. The representative from Ohio went three for four, but no matter the question, Kucinich always brought up his health care plan in his answer. Kucinich’s inability to adjust to the pitch will hurt his average in the long run.
Let’s move on to the top three hitters.
Sen. John Kerry had an excellent night at the plate, going four for five. His sacrifice late in the game was most memorable. When asked if he thought Bush intentionally misled America, Kerry answered with a simple, “I don’t know.” Quite an impressive play for a politician.
In four plate appearances, former governor of Vermont Howard Dean, had four base hits. I was impressed with Dean’s ability to hit the nasty curve ball.
When asked how a man from Vermont (a state with very few blacks) could address the black community, Dean shot a line drive back at the pitcher, answering,”If the percent of minorities that are in your state has anything to do with how you can connect with African-American voters, then Trent Lott would be Martin Luther King.”
If Dean can remain cool at the plate, the nomination may soon be his.
That leaves one player left, the surprise of the night-Rev. Al Sharpton. His five for five performance has me questioning the scouting reports. His swing isn’t the prettiest, but Sharpton showed he has the ability to make contact no matter where the pitch comes from.
His challenges did not end with Bush and the Republican Party. When asked about the relationship of blacks and the Democratic Party he said, “We need to take the Democratic Party home to our daddies and discuss marriage or a break-up.”
Eager for every pitch, Sharpton even knocked one over the fence and into the crowd. When a few unruly protestors disrupted the debate, Sharpton was the first to stand up to them. He told security that if they could not handle the situation, he would.
While big hitters Kerry and Dean showed that they may be the only ones with home plate in sight, Sharpton showed that if he goes down, he will go down swinging.
Michael Stewart is a senior philosophy and religion major. He can be reached at [email protected].