Q: My boyfriend of two years lives across the country. A couple times recently when I’ve gone out with my girlfriends, I have kissed another guy to whom I’m really attracted. I want to stop cheating and continue the relationship with my boyfriend because I think we have a future together, but I really want to date the other guy who lives here. What should I do?
A: Imagine this. You decide to surprise your boyfriend by visiting him in whatever state he resides. You take the time and money to buy the ticket. You finally make it to his house and his roommate says he’s downtown for guy’s night out. So you track him down at a local bar. You’re all dressed up and walk through the doors only to see him standing in a corner feeling up a gorgeous blond. Now imagine if he were in your shoes. Could you ever forgive yourself?
It’s your decision whether or not you choose to fess up about your lusty nights with this other guy. However, it will be on your conscience if you don’t.
Your track record is already screwed, so you don’t need to cause any more damage by continuing to hide behind the scenes. Either come clean or don’t. Either stay with your boyfriend or don’t. Or persist to carry this dilemma on your conscience and continue to do what you’ve been doing. If you choose this route, your relationship probably won’t last long anyway.
Have you ever thought about the possibility that your boyfriend could be cheating on you? That probably doesn’t settle well under your skin. Unless you want to end things with your boyfriend across the country, then I suggest you stop being deceitful.
If you come clean and still want to save your relationship, then good luck to you. Explaining your infidelity to your boyfriend on the phone probably isn’t the way you want to spend your calling card minutes. But, you need to stop what you’re currently doing when you go out with your gals if you want a meaningful future with your boyfriend.
If you choose to break up with him, save your breath. You obviously still care about your boyfriend or you wouldn’t be questioning yourself about what to do in this situation. Hurting his ego by telling him you want to date another boy is not the thing to do.
When it comes to reality, nature could just be testing your self-control for male temptations. If you think this new guy is so attractive, chances are if another hottie walked by you tomorrow you would be drawn to him with just as much intensity. And, unless you and the new guy are soulmates, I doubt you two have made a serious connection through a few late night make-out sessions.
Then again, you could decide that your momentary physical needs are more important than the verbal communication you receive from your boyfriend.
If this new guy is too hot to resist, enjoy your temporary college hook-up amusement ride. If you do this, it would then be a great idea to discontinue your nationwide relationship. This way your boyfriend can stop wasting his time and can finally go after that fine girl in history class he’s wanted to ask out but has resisted because he wanted to stay faithful to you.
Crystal will answer readers’ questions. E-mail questions to [email protected].