I hate reality television. Too little of it is really reality. I admit to paying attention to the first “Survivor” but not the five, six-however many they have done now.
“Real World” was cool a decade ago when I was in high school, but not now. The first “Bachelor” was funny but now it is just old-although my wife and her friends can’t get enough of Bob on this season’s “Bachelor.” The adventure reality shows like “Fear Factor” and “Amazing Race” are not interesting to me, either.
The bottom of the reality television barrel, just below the ones where they lie about how much money the guy has, are all the dating shows.
Two in particular drive me nuts-“Blind Date” and “Elimidate.” Any idiot can see what is coming and how the date is going to go after the first two minutes. The problem is that I am usually that idiot.
I find myself unable to tear myself away from them when I channel surf across them. Time seems to freeze and there I am watching somebody screw up a date that should be impossible to screw up. The whole date is paid for and arranged by the show. All you have to do is bring just a couple drops of personality and people skills. Nothing major can really go wrong!
Part of the problem seems to be the amount of free alcohol that is consumed. I like to think of it as a DUI-Dating Under the Influence. Apparently the free alcohol is a coin flip as to whether you end up naked in a Jacuzzi or going home alone with an inflatable parrot.
There was a time in my life when I too would have enjoyed the free alcohol. But I like to think I would not have enjoyed it so much as to make an idiot of myself on national television.
Reality television has taught me a few things, though. If it is a contest between two or more women, someone is going to get hurt-even if they don’t like the guy.
How many women have you seen eliminated from dating shows that said through watery eyes and sniffles, “I didn’t really like him anyway, but the other girls were not eliminated because they were ‘sleazy.'” Or, “The man just did not realize how much she loved him and that she was right for him.”
I guess it is just harder for men on these shows to realize when they fall in love-especially in the first 20 to 30 minutes of the date.
I can back this up with some unscientific research. What do men say when they are eliminated?
*”It just wasn’t there between us.”
*”She was hot, but oh well.” Apparently the men they select for these shows are immune to the immediate love these women feel or the women are selected based on their ability to fall in love quickly.
If these shows are so bad, how do they manage to stay on television? Apparently there are more idiots like me that watch them. My wife compares it to people who drive slow past car wrecks. They don’t really want to see what the result is (and they probably know what it is anyway), but they are still staring.
It is even more embarrassing when my friends come over and catch me watching them. It is even worse when my wife and her friends catch me watching them. They make fun of me.
So why do I bare my soul here so publicly? Is it a cry for professional help? No, it is a cry for support!
If these shows stay on the air then there must be more people like me out there. We need to band together to fight the ridicule and the embarrassment. We need to form a student advocacy group and fight the scorn and disdain with which we are treated.
OK, if anyone else is interested in starting a support group with a professional counselor, let me know.
John Summerlot is a graduate student in counseling. He can be reached at [email protected].