College-a time to try new things, experience new people and feel new emotions. We defiantly skip a class, something we always wanted to do since high school history. We leave a friend at home to go to a party where we know a hot classmate is going to be. And for all these experiences we pay a price by feeling something we’ve only heard about until recently-guilt.
Some accuse the Catholic church for the invention of guilt. Others maintain that mothers created the emotion to punish their children. I am starting to believe that guilt was built for the sole purpose of keeping us wild college hooligans in check.
Think about it. How many times before college did you feel pangs of regret when you muted your phone as your mom rang in? Was there ever a pre-college moment of remorse when you were forced to leave your friends to work on a project? And prior to enrolling at MSU can you honestly say you felt bad about blowing off classes and schoolwork to stay up late at an all-nighter?
Are we as college students guilty of feeling too much guilt?
The more I thought about it, the more I started to become a firm believer that guilt is the cross we must bear for all the new freedoms college gives us.
I wanted to come home whenever I liked. Fine. I wished for a day where I did not have to answer a thousand questions about my plans for the evening. Done. I prayed for the ability to have full control over my own schedule and social agenda. No problem.
Of course in return I was racked with guilt over missing an 8 o’clock test because I wanted to see how many people could crowd into my living room at 3 a.m. I was overcome with sorrow for leaving friends behind so I could run off into the night and see where it took me. And I felt a sudden urge to say 20 Hail Mary’s after I wasted away an entire day, leaving myself with two hours to complete a week’s worth of work.
Looking around at my friends, I can see the evidence of guilt in their lives, too. One would be sad for eating the M&Ms with peanuts for lunch. Another would have bags under her eyes after staying up all night with the full knowledge that she hung up on her mom to finish “American Idol.” I had this one friend who cried for hours after realizing she forgot to instant message her best friend back two days later.
So, do we overreact and take too much guilt on ourselves? Absolutely. Maybe it’s because we feel with our new independence comes more pressure to be perfect. Maybe it’s because our mothers ingrained it in us with their sighs across phone lines as we tell them it’ll be another few months before we come home.
Or maybe this guilt we feel is trying to tell us something. Instead of feeling bad all the time, perhaps guilt was designed to condition us to change our bad ways. Since most of our parents are too far away to reach out and shake sense into us, guilt steps in and does it for them.
And then a really scary thought hit me. What if the only way to absolve ourselves from this lifestyle of guilt and guilty pleasures is to be responsible and act like our mothers taught us? If the only way to not feel bad is to do the right thing to begin with, then maybe that’s a lesson college was meant to teach us.
I know that the next time my mother calls me, or I am faced with the option of going to class or sleeping in that I’ll probably make the wrong decision. But at least now I know that the guilt I feel is only meant to help me. And ironically enough that will make me feel better.