A few minutes into watching the Grammys, I realized that I didn’t even need to watch the show to know the winners. The Grammys have fallen into certain habits over the past few years, which have led to what I view as a pathetic attempt by the music industry to judge talent. As music critic Tony Hicks said, the Grammys this year were “stuck on cruise control.”
These habits are many, but there’s one you can bank on above all others. If a performer is nominated who has been around for years and is considered classic or legendary, he or she will win.
Ray Charles is an undeniably great artist, but you start to wonder if the awards are being given out of obligation, much like how “The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King” swept last year’s Oscars.
I think it’s a combination of “If we give him one, we should give them all to him” and “Of course Ray Charles is better than Los Lonely Boys and Usher.”
This should tell the music industry something. Greatness breeds longevity, and Charles won his first Grammy in 1960. Of course, if the mediocre Maroon 5, the Best New Artist winner, is still successful in 40 years, track me down and slap me on the wrist.
I never liked U2, so perhaps I’m biased, but the Best Rock Performance winners seem to me a little washed-up and grasping for a hit.
Real rock music is in serious danger of being altogether extinct. “Vertigo” was as much of a struggle as Aerosmith’s “Jaded” that came out a few years ago. It was an attempt to stay afloat in a stormy sea of teen pop princesses, clich pop-punk rockers and mundane alternative bands.
Speaking of which, that stormy sea produced many nominees for the Grammys this year. Representing the clich pop-punk rockers was Green Day for their new album “American Idiot,” which shows more evidence of pop influence than their early, gritty punk hits. With such headstrong, revved-up roots, it’s hard to take them seriously now.
Hoobastank and Nickelback were nominated, much to my chagrin, representing the mundane alternative bands. For what exactly did these bands receive the “honor” of being recognized? Was it their hackneyed melodies? Trite lyrics? Instrumentation that lacks any talent or dynamic quality?
The Grammys do not represent talent; they, like most music today, represent trends.
I must make some concessions for artists like Steve Vai, The Allman Brothers Band and Brian Wilson. These are the true talents honored at the Grammys-artists who compose their own music and lyrics, play their own instruments and possess real musical talent.
I was pleased with John Mayer’s win for Song of the Year with his song “Daughters.” This song is simple in composition yet rich with beautiful, interesting lyrics and chord progressions. He proved that a song doesn’t have to be catchy and upbeat to gain radio fame.
Much like the famous “We are the world,” another motley crew of musicians were thrown together for a benefit, this time for tsunami relief. This shaky rendition of The Beatles’ “Across the Universe,” far from being like the aid concerts that deserve praise, seemed very forced.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone so very unhappy to be singing a song as Norah Jones, whom I usually enjoy, as she crooned her couple of lines. Billie Joe, lead singer of Green Day, and that guy from Velvet Revolver were particularly abysmal, and the addition of Tim McGraw surely made John Lennon turn over in his grave.
Also, I adore Steven Tyler, but he just can’t do The Beatles. The song is naturally mellow, but this collection of artists made the song lackluster and uncomfortable to watch and listen to. The attempted harmonies when everyone sang together were particularly ear-splitting.
A performance that stood out, though, was Melissa Etheridge and Joss Stone’s tribute to Janis Joplin. Though they couldn’t quite capture Joplin’s passionate essence, it was quite the tear-jerker when Etheridge came out, bald-a result of cancer treatment-and proud and looking ecstatic to be on stage.
All-in-all, the Grammys simply don’t mean anything. They are an excuse for us to raise eyebrows at awkward musical pairings like Loretta Lynn and Jack White, to scoff at pitiful performances like J. Lo and Marc Anthony and to shake our heads at Grammy wins like Maroon 5, who seems to have been out for much longer than I’d dub a “new” artist.
If you’re looking for musical substance, look elsewhere. And if you’re still sad you missed the Grammys, you can purchase the “all-star” rendition of “Across the Universe” on ITunes. Though, honestly, I don’t see why anyone would want to subject themselves to that.
Erin Clyburn is a sophomore English major. She can be reached at [email protected].