Q: I met this great guy about three weeks ago at a party. We hit it off really well and have gone on several dates since. But he’s not giving me clear signals about what he wants from the relationship. He actually got upset this weekend because I brought laundry to do at his place. Should I just ask him what he’s thinking or try to go with the flow a little longer?
A: It really seems to be a general rule that guys try to go too fast physically, while the girls try to make the relationship proceed too fast. If you only take one suggestion away from here, just slow it down.
Guys are more likely to be paranoid about relationships progressing out of control. But may I remind you that there are several ways to distract us guys from what you’re really trying to accomplish.
We guys may be paranoid, but we’re also predictable and downright dumb to an extent. You hit a roadblock while doing laundry at his place, and why? My guess is that it wasn’t bra and panty day when the discord started.
When you do things like laundry around an “indeterminate guy,” you are sending a message to him that the awkward, yet exciting freshness of a new relationship has worn off. Some guys just live for the thrill of starting a new relationship, and if it wears off too quickly, they may give up too quickly on the relationship.
Also, there are some things that guys just aren’t comfortable with, at least at first. Moving in and setting up the washboard at his place is more of a minor thing, but definitely something that should be worked up to and not rushed.
Now, I can completely sympathize with wanting to save laundromat money. But if your new beau is worth keeping so far, invest a little money, and keep doing your laundry elsewhere for the time being. As the relationship develops, he’ll relax a little.
Barry Kirsch is a senior chemical engineer major. He can receive your relationship questions at [email protected].