According to the 2013 Journal of Communication, 75 percent of college students have, at some point, been involved in a long-distance romantic relationship, or “LDR.” The acronym most likely came about because the phrase “long distance relationship” is a lot of scary-sounding syllables, and people in LDRs generally reference their LDRs a lot. As annoying as it may be, why wouldn’t they?
As the saying goes, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.” However, it also makes the heart grow lonelier, the mind grow doubtful and the body grow either A) tired of driving six hours back and forth on weekends (if your significant other lives within the tri-state area) or B) extremely sexually frustrated (if they do not).
Full disclosure: I cite these maladies based on observation, rather than LDR experience. Nonetheless, I know I can’t date anyone further than fifteen minutes away, because I’ve experienced all these things while dating a dude who just lives across town.
Overall, it makes sense that long-distance relationships are prevalent on college campuses—a lot of people try to hang on to high-school relationships, and it is difficult breaking-up with a college significant other just because one of you is graduating. However, it is equally difficult (if not more so), to manage a long-distance relationship in the face of school and work (not to mention in the faces of all the local, 100 percent organic, free-range hotties you encounter every day in real life).
I advocate dating local on the same basis as eating/shopping/working local—it makes you healthier and happier and stimulates the local economy when you have someone to always take to Bop’s. Despite the emotional fervor LDRs often inspire, everyone I know in a long-distance relationship is really just practicing polyamory with their cellphone, laptop and car (even more than the average human). A friend of mine—who recently transferred schools to be closer to her long distance boyfriend—would always skip out on events in order to Skype him. The two would spend hours talking about missing each other and forfeited having lives as individuals just to share a life through a screen.
According to Psychology Today, “A long-distance relationship leaves a gap between people.” While this is inevitably true, trying to fill this gap by constantly texting or video chatting a significant other can create another disconnect between a person and their local social support system.
LDRs can also be heavily burdened by commute. If an LDR couple lives within weekend-driving distance, these visits can also take tolls on the health of a couple. In a Slate article entitled “Your Commute is Killing You,” Annie Lowry writes “Long commutes cause obesity, neck pain, loneliness, stress and insomnia.” These conditions in addition to pre-existing pains of the heart makes it hard to enjoy face-to-face time with a significant other, even if those times are few and far between.
Although I think long-distance relationships are emotionally bogus and exhausting, and that it is generally unwise to enter one, I don’t think all long-distance couples should break up. Just the ones without a timeline for closing the distance. If someone loves you enough to text you all day and Skype you every night, maybe the relationship is worth moving for—but you can’t have relationship permanence without some permanence of place. If they won’t move for you, dump ‘em; if you won’t move for them, dump ‘em too. When you’re ready, start dating local—your heart, overheated cell-phone and new next-door boo will all thank you.
