I thoroughly despise 3D technology but when I saw the first poster for “Piranha”, I knew it was going to be horror B-movie butter. Packed with legendary actors like Ving Rhames, Elisabeth Shue and Christopher Lloyd, “Piranha” is an all-out gore-fest full of fun, blood and extremely naked ladies. It is completely ridiculous, but for all the right reasons.
It’s spring break at Lake Victoria, Arizona and every young body in proximity flocks to the lake to celebrate. Unbeknownst to the residents, an earthquake causes a giant rift to crack in the bottom of the lake. This releases thousands of prehistoric man-eating piranha who have survived in an underground lake by feeding off each other for over two million years. Needless to say, the buffet for these fish has been very limited and they are ready to chow down on some drunk, naked beachgoers.
When you categorize a horror film as a “b-movie”, this constitutes two things: a completely implausible premise, and gratuitous amounts of violence and nudity. With the tongue-in-cheek humor or gore of the movie, it’s obvious that “Piranha” isn’t vying for any prestigious awards.
Sheriff Julie Forester (Elisabeth Shue) and Deputy Fallon (Ving Rhames) discover that something is wrong in Lake Victoria. After a mangled bodies pile from unknown circumstances, they try to keep the locals from going to the beaches, but as we’ve learned from the Great White Shark of Amity Island, nothing will stop summer beach tourists from getting their toes wet.
Forester’s son Jake (Steven R. McQueen) is thrust into action when his crush (Jessica Szohr) is convinced by a “Girls Gone Wild”-esque producer (Jerry O’Connell) convinces her to come along for a shoot on the lake in his yacht. O’Connell’s performance is the only part about the movie that didn’t agree with me, as his creepy, almost rapist demeanor fell way off the mark of being anywhere close to funny.
Being a remake-of-a-remake-of-a-remake, “Piranha” isn’t boiling over with originality. Taking a few hints from its immortal predecessor, “Jaws”, the movie is actually pretty terrifying at times. Whereas the shark was rarely ever seen in “Jaws”, the piranhas have plenty of screen time. “Piranha” isn’t trying to impress anyone, and it doesn’t need to. Horror fans and film lovers alike should find plenty to enjoy about it.
The use of 3D really works well in the underwater scenes. The film was converted to 3D after it was shot, which is a much more difficult process to pull off convincingly than a film that was intentionally shot for 3D. Under the circumstances, however, 3D makes some scenes so much more intense than had it been presented in 2D. It was well my worth my extra two bucks at the box office.
“Piranha” tries its hand at creature comedy, but doesn’t succeed to its full potential. Compared to the greatest creature comedy of all time, “Tremors, the film comes up short in that area. However, the inventive deaths and gore in the film are enough to make you laugh out loud and cringe at the same time.
Of course, “Piranha” builds to an absolutely mind-blowing climax. Without going into specific details, there is more blood and mauling in the final twenty minutes of “Piranha” than in any movie I’ve ever seen.
Chances are, you’ll walk into “Piranha” thinking you’re about to see some serious garbage. You may leave having those thoughts confirmed, but I suspect that most people will have more fun than expected. Aside from its aggravating short running time, “Piranha” a great creature movie that doesn’t take itself seriously, so if you don’t either, a bloody fun time is sure to be had.
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Online Exclusive: “Piranha 3D” packed to the gills with blood, fun
Will Malone
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August 24, 2010
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