“Hey, do you watch ‘House’? That’s my favorite show! Hugh Laurie is such a jerk. I love it!”I’ve listened to this one-sided conversation at least 23 times in the last year. These positive exclamations about “House,” a medical television show on Fox, sicken me. Not because Hugh Laurie isn’t funny. Not because the show is terrible.
The show is just mediocre. And I could probably leave it at that. Every time I opine that “House” is barely average, the response is never intelligent, articulate or convincing.
“Do you like ‘House’ as much I do?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“It’s based on one good character. It’s an overrated clump of dog crap and grass.”
“Well, I think you’re wrong! Hugh Laurie for president!”
“Think” I’m wrong? That’s certainty at its finest. Actually, we can only be certain of one thing: “House” fans are wrong, and the show they adore is trendy at best.
First, something must be said about Laurie. He’s a solid actor and plays his character well. Unfortunately, he’s also the Archie Manning of television. In other words, the rest of the team sucks.
I have never seen a more useless and uninteresting supporting cast in a popular show. Even the characters in “Friends” served more of a purpose in their show, and that’s one of the most unfunny and poorly written series in history.
The characters of “House” are just there to give an illusion of diversity. You have a strong male protagonist surrounded by several females, a black man and a dude from Australia. When you initially look at the lineup, the ingredients seem like they will work together to create a fascinating show.
But the characters never work together. Instead, they work around. Around Dr. House, that is.
Now, before anyone says, “But the show is supposed to revolve around House!” Well, you’re right in a Neanderthalic kind of way. Remember “The Andy Griffith Show,” “I Love Lucy,” “Seinfeld” or “The Cosby Show”? All of those shows had specific main characters, but the supporting cast didn’t just crowd around them as if to say, “Look! It’s the main character that we’re all blatantly referring to even if that’s moronic!”
Of course, the ridiculous dialogue doesn’t help. Every episode I’ve watched contains at least one part where a supporting character refers to House’s lack of humanity.
Character 1: Did you see that?
Character 2: What?
Character 1: House just insulted an old woman about her baldness pattern. He’s so cold, too cold!
Character 2: That doesn’t surprise me. House lost his humanity a long time ago.
As Godsmack has said in too many of their songs, “Just go away.”
Even if you could muster the brainpower to ignore this embarrassing cast and what comes out of their stupid mouths, a deeper flaw lies within “House”: the frank unoriginality of it all.
I give you “Becker” as Exhibit I’m Absolutely Correct. Ted Danson was the star of “Becker,” a show about a doctor who didn’t really care about any of his patients, a man who said a lot of funny, mean things. “House” shamelessly rips off this show that, by the way, didn’t receive as much praise as our current medical wonder.
A knowledgeable watcher would retort, “Whereas ‘Becker’ was strictly a comedy, ‘House’ delves into equal doses of drama.”
So I give you “M.A.S.H.” as Exhibit Wash My Feet, Disciples. This classic medical show was quite ahead of its time. “House” couldn’t touch its mix of comedy and drama. One minute some guy would be wearing a dress, and the next minute the doctors would be handling dying patients, injured in a violent war.
You know what’s alarming, though? Seemingly, not many people know about these shows. I typed in each of these shows – along with “House” – on my Facebook profile and clicked on them to see how many MSU students had listed them as favorites. The results:
House: 500.
Becker: about 30.
M.A.S.H.: about 80.
I’m not suggesting you have to see these other shows to be tubular, but it means one of two things: (1) Mediocrity is accepted on television because people simply don’t know the possibilities, or (2) people know about these more original shows, and they don’t care.
Either way, it’s disturbing like a concentration camp.