In less than two weeks now, I’ll no longer be a Mississippi State student. Graduation is something that I have been steadily pushing to the back of my mind for the past year. I find that if I simply forget it’s happening, it’s much easier for me to deal with it. That’s how I plan to confront these last two weeks in Starkville, as well. I’m not really going to think about graduation until May 5, at about 8 in the morning.
I have found multiple diversions for my mind this semester. The most enjoyable, and most prevalent, are friends. If I’m going to lose myself in something, I want it to be my friends. The fun we have had this semester has been a most effective cure for anytime I grow sad over graduation.
Another comfort that my friends provide is the sense of connection. More than anything else, that is what I will miss from being an undergrad at State.
However, I know that the good friends I have now will be my friends for life. Some are staying here, some are moving on, but they will all remain friends.
If I must leave Mississippi State, at least I can remain connected to this important part of my time here. And you can bet that those of you who are staying will be receiving lots of visits from me. Prepare those sleeper sofas, all right?
Another way that I have managed to dance around May 5 is by getting involved with things both on and off campus. If I’m constantly running to meetings and commitments, I have little time to sit and ponder sad situations.
One of my favorite involvements, intramural sports, provides an excellent distraction. There are always plenty of different sports to be involved in, and they are a lot more fun than meetings.
I guess you could say that I have also confronted the impending graduation in a roundabout way by making post-graduation plans. Just because I want to ignore the fact that I’m leaving doesn’t mean I’m not going to make plans for the occasion.
There was a certain sense of accomplishment in making these plans – researching opportunities, applying, interviewing, awaiting results. I found that this was a part of becoming an adult that I don’t mind quite so much. At the very least, it makes me feel like I’m actively doing something to prepare.
However, now that I am almost to the end of that process, I am requiring another mental diversion.
Graduation, perhaps, I cannot ignore much longer; sadness, though, I am most reluctant to confront. Planning, commitments and intramurals are over, for the most part, and soon I’ll be separated from my friends by summer. I’m going to need something to occupy my time.
Thank goodness this summer provides so many excellent opportunities for distraction. There are all the normal delights of summer: no class, swimming pools, traveling time, seeing my family. And then there are the particular offerings that this summer presents: a slew of long-awaited movies (several of these finally finishing their respective trilogies) and, my personal favorite, the appearance of an even longer-awaited book to complete a certain seven-part series.
I hope that you don’t think that I’m just going to be lazy this summer. The whole of it won’t be spent watching movies, reading books and laying around. But hopefully there will be a little bit of time for these things.
And most importantly, by allowing myself to look forward to these things, I can still avoid most of my sadness over graduation. Tell me I’m in denial or that I refuse to face reality; I don’t really care. I just don’t like being sad, and I really don’t like saying goodbye. And so, I’m not going to – until there’s no other choice.
Categories:
It hurts to say goodbye
Tracey Apperson
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April 24, 2007
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