Pizza crust might be the biggest scam since Bernie Madoff. Honestly, it may have been the biggest scam before him too, because I was told long before Madoff was caught that the crust was the best part of the pizza. It is far from it.
To say that the crust is the best part of pizza is to say that the tomato sauce and cheese should not even be there. Also, the argument that the crust is just “complimentary breadsticks” is painfully overused. I did not order pizza to get breadsticks. I ordered pizza for a reason that starts with a ‘P’ and ends with an ‘izza’. To my knowledge, I do not think I have ever ordered breadsticks in the first place, so why would I want them now?
The idea of judging someone for not eating the crust simply comes from your own parents telling you to eat the crust to keep from being wasteful. It was likely never your own conscious thought.
The fact that we judge people for not eating bland bread is just unfathomable to me. Some people may say, “Well, why not stick it in ranch?” That makes no sense because in any circumstance outside of a sandwich, stuffing a chunk of carbs in ranch and eating it would cause even more judgement.
Just to clarify, pizza crust is good when there is garlic sauce on it, like at Domino’s, or when the tomato sauce and cheese bleed over onto the crust like DiGiorno. Good things can be done with pizza crust, but it is rare.
For example, I will say I have a Little Caesar’s pizza in a room with 5 people right now. I would not, because Hot-N-Ready pizzas are now eight whole dollars, but I digress. If I do not eat the crust on that pizza, someone will surely make a comment when I go to throw the crust away.
Not only is that deserving of a crust-filled smack across the dome, but Little Caesar’s crust is a top 3 most disgusting item from a fast-food chain restaurant. The idea that you must eat the crust or be judged guilty by the court of public opinion is a scam.
Yes, I will die on this hill.
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Hot Take: Pizza crust is the worst part of the pizza
About the Contributor
John Baladi, Life & Entertainment Editor
John Baladi is a graduate student pursuing his master's in business administration.
He currently serves as the Life & Entertainment Editor.
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