This past weekend I rode with some friends of mine to TSUN for an event held on campus.  We ate dinner at a hip pizza joint somewhere on the Square.  We were nearly done with our meal when a guitarist checked up, plugged in and started playing.  The blues notes he lingered on did little more than create an ambient background for the Black Bear filled restaurant, but it was enough to draw my ear.  He was certainly no B.B. but it didn’t matter to me – music is my excuse to check out. 
When I came back to reality at the end of the tune, I noticed I was clapping – not enough to stick out of the crowd but enough to catch his eye. He thanked me with a smirk because, in the whole room, I was the only one focused enough on his music to give recognition – a truth we both knew. 
I am a musician myself, so I appreciate the many hours behind the instrument that an artist puts in.  But he didn’t know that.  All he could tell was that I was listening enough to say thank you and tipped him later. 
I thought long enough about redefining my view on tipping. 
Tipping isn’t about giving someone money for a service they provide you. How many times have you done something for someone and honestly not wanted the money?  We all experience this benevolence at some point and often feel euphoric when serving.  Sometimes this feeling can be wiped clean if we don’t feel as if we are recognized for our good deed.  In times like these a simple “thank you” can go a long way. 
Tipping is about giving someone who has somehow served you the recognition of appreciation.  Recognition can be as simple as saying “thank you” when someone holds a door open for you or a standing ovation after a speech; these two words carry tremendous power.  This idea of recognition is so important that it has even gained the lofty status of becoming one of the five love languages.  Sure, “thank you” can go a long way, but what about when it comes to monetary tipping?
Even if someone’s job is to serve at a restaurant or coffee shop, tipping shows that you recognize them as a human and are thanking them for a service.  If you haven’t worked in the service industry, you might not understand the episodes that come in each day can bring in.  People who serve you not only have to deal with their life but also yours for that moment.  Thank them for doing their job. 
Somewhere along the way, though, the feeling behind tipping got overshadowed by the monetary value that it sometimes accompanies.  Most people tip in checklist format, constantly looking for errors in the service to see how little thanks they can leave behind on the carbon paper.  Why not look for what the server did right instead?
Try this next time you encounter subpar service: immediately imagine that person is having an awful day.  Who knows, maybe an out-of-the-ordinary “thank you” can be the silver lining they need.  Besides, if you don’t know that person, it’s just as plausible to assume they are having a bad day rather than just out to ruin yours. 
I don’t believe the nature of humanity is to go around looking for ways people can piss you off by not serving you the exact way you wish to be served.  Thanking someone for trying their best, serving you or giving you something yields a feeling of respect that is much more pleasant to carry around than the rash you let someone give you when they rub you the wrong way.  It hurts no one to show respect.