In a recent study, British psychologist Richard Wiseman attempted to find the world’s funniest joke. Here is the winner: Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator says, “Calm down, I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says, “OK, now what?”
Not too bad, but is that really the best they can do? Come on! Don’t get me wrong, it is a good joke. But the funniest one in the world? I doubt it.
How about the one where an Ole Miss grad is walking along the main street in Oxford when a delivery truck drives past him. The truck hits a bump and a box falls off the back of the truck. The Rebel opens the box and finds a pig inside. The Rebel didn’t know what to do with the pig so he asks a nearby police officer what he would recommend. The police officer replies, “Take it to the zoo.”
A couple of days later, the Rebel is driving down the road with the pig on the front seat of his pickup when he stops at a traffic light. The same police officer is standing on the corner and notices the pig in the truck with the Rebel. The police officer hollers to the Rebel, “Hey! I thought I told you to take that pig to the zoo!” The Rebel replies, “I did. He enjoyed it so much we’re going to the ballgame!”
Or how about the one where a Harvard alumnus, a Yale alumnus and an MSU alumnus are all in a public restroom? The Harvard man struts over to the lavatory, washes his hands and arrogantly says, “At Harvard, we are taught that cleanliness is next to godliness.” The Yale man struts over to the lavatory, washes his hands and arrogantly states, “At Yale, we are taught that the sanitary man is the successful man.” The MSU man walks past the lavatory and towards the door. Before leaving he says, “At Mississippi State, we are taught not to go on our hands.”
Some of you may be thinking, “Look, collegiate jokes are fine, but they don’t have a wide appeal outside a university.” Point conceded, but there are still better jokes out there besides the so-called “world’s funniest joke.”
How about the one where a priest, a rabbi and a Baptist preacher go fishing one day? The priest decides that he has to use the restroom, so he gets out of the boat, walks across the water, takes care of business and walks back. Then the Rabbi has to go, so he gets out of the boat, walks across the water, takes care of business and walks back.
The Baptist preacher, not wanting to be outdone, says he has to go, too. So, with a big production, he gets out of the boat, tries to walk across the water, and splashes into the lake. As the Baptist minister splashes around in the water, the priest leans over and asks the rabbi, “Reckon we ought to show him where those rocks are?”
The moral of the story is that there is no funniest joke in the world, because people laugh at different things. Of course, some people don’t laugh at all. Those are the ones you need to look out for.
Margaret Odom is a junior communication major.