Girls, what are your plans following graduation? Will you attend grad school? Begin searching for a job? Become a housewife?
Some of you probably did a double take when you saw the word “housewife.” Immediately, protest arose in your mind: “That’s not me; I’m not here just to get my MRS. I have plans and goals; I’m going to do something with my life.” Although you probably desire to get married, you believe that more is expected of you than simply becoming a wife and mother.
Modernly, housewife has become a dirty word. There is a prevailing mindset that it is degrading for a woman to become nothing more than a wife and mother. Feminists have engendered various arguments attempting to dissuade women from choosing to be housewives. They perpetuate the mindset that a woman’s intelligence and abilities are wasted if she does nothing more than care for her family. Also, they discourage the idea that the role of homemaker is one which best suits women.
This viewpoint has permeated modern society, impacting even those who would not label themselves as feminists. Girls have been conditioned to think that wanting a family is not enough; they must have some greater goal. How many of you would be embarrassed to publicly admit that all you truly want is to get married and have a family? You fear that you will be labeled aimless, nonproductive or desperate. The truth, though, is that most women do want domesticity.
Inside most girls lives a desire for a family and a longing to care for that family. Women are designed that way; they are better suited for the role of a mother than most men could ever be. Everyone accepts that women and men are emotionally different. There are exceptions to every rule, of course; however, women are generally the nurturers. And there is no shame in that.
A woman’s natural tendency toward being emotionally demonstrative has acquired an unwelcome reputation. Chris Dorn, a counselor specializing in marriage and women’s issues, said: “Society has told us that the nurturing role is a passive one; that it’s less important. The word nurturing gets a bad wrap today.” Instead, women are encouraged to downplay their intrinsic characteristics. Women are told to pursue professionalism, seek after a goal and have a purpose.
Who decided, though, that pursuing a family life holds no contribution to society? A stay-at-home mother has the opportunity to invest her life into her children. Her influence upon them is crucial in the shaping of their characters. A woman who desires to be a housewife undoubtedly has a purpose. Her objective is to love her family, supporting them and giving them the confidence they need to excel. A housewife provides a sense of stability for her family.
It is not degradation for a woman to desire a home and family; rather, it undermines women when their traditional roles are disgraced. It suggests that their traits and desires are, in fact, not good enough and they should instead seek to be more like men because a man’s role must be more acceptable. Women have been convinced that they were forced into the role of homemaker, not that they chose it because of natural inclination to fulfill its requirements. By demoralizing a woman’s role, one demoralizes a woman. In essence, one says that she is silly for using her intrinsic skills. Go against your instinct-be more like a man. That is the message being sent to modern women.
Women in general are designed to be nurturers and mothers. I realize that there are some women who would never be comfortable with this role; I am not encouraging them to force themselves into a role they are uncomfortable with. A square peg cannot fit into a round hole. My point is simply that we should not condemn those who desire to invest their lives into their families. That calling is just as respectable and necessary as any other.
Women, you have choices, and they are yours alone to make. Do not allow anyone to disrespect your decision or to make you feel as though what you have chosen is unacceptable.
In the movie “Mona Lisa Smile,” a progressively-minded teacher named Katherine Watson comes to persuade a student to attend law school rather than get married. Upon arrival, Watson discovers that the student, Joan, has just eloped. Their conversation follows.
Joan Brandwyn: Do you think I’ll wake up one morning and regret not being a lawyer?
Katherine Watson: Yes, I’m afraid that you will.
Joan Brandwyn: Not as much as I’d regret not having a family, not being there to raise them. I know exactly what I’m doing, and it doesn’t make me any less smart.
[Katherine looks down]
Joan Brandwyn: This must seem terrible to you.
Katherine Watson: I didn’t say that.
Joan Brandwyn: Sure you did. You always do. You stand in class and tell us to look beyond the image, but you don’t. To you a housewife is someone who sold her soul for a center hall colonial. She has no depth, no intellect, no interests. You’re the one who said I could do anything I wanted. This is what I want.
Girls, what do you want?