It’s been a while since I’ve written. When life kicks you in the mouth, it really kicks you in the mouth. I haven’t been in the mood to write, you could say.
But the other night someone called me out on it. And they’re right. Someone has to be Batman. Someone has to bear the load and write about controversial (oddly appropriate) issues. And what could be more controversial than health care?
I’ll tell you. It’s a woman. “Lady Gaga” Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta. Who? She’s the American pop singer responsible for hit singles like “Just Dance,” “Poker Face” and “Telephone.” But really Just who is she? Madonna already made a multi-billion dollar business – aided by the rise of MTV – by lusting up to the cameras in an effort to distract audiences from her lack of creative talent.
How many times has this play been run? Why is Gaga so popular? Our parent’s generation had the androgynous Boy George and Madonna, the original female music sex idol. Has Gaga even begun to scratch the surface compared to those two yet? Will she be our generation’s contribution to music history?
First and most importantly, no one can use the argument of superficial and disposable lyrics against Gaga. It vexes me that Gaga discussions usually comprise of Madonna being viewed as shallow compared to Gaga.
Let’s focus on raw musical ability. Madonna loses in many departments. She manages three or four notes on the guitar and idiots believe she can actually play it, while it’s obvious that Gaga dominates the piano. Plus Gaga has a voice and vocal training, while Madonna never really had the patience for the vocal exercises and anyone with a musical ear can hear that. This Lady was playing the piano by ear at the age of four, wrote her first ballad at 13 and was accepted via early admission at 17 into NYU’s prestigious Tisch School of the Arts.
She’s classically trained. She wrote “Quicksand,” a Britney Spears bonus track from 2008’s Circus. I’m not even going to waste much character space on Spears &mdash if you like “lousy-anna” girl lip-synching to songs in lion tamer costumes, that’s your business and I won’t bother convincing you otherwise. Is it becoming obvious that Gaga is not the latest in assembly-line-overproduced-American-pop singers addicted to auto-tune?
Go to YouTube and search for the “Lady GaGa Taratata” video. She’s reppin’ America hard in France, speaking to the audience and improvising her lyrics in French. She definitely has a flair for the creative, writing all of her own lyrics, all of her own melodies, playing most of the synth work on her album, choreographing many of her own dances and even designing a lot of what she wears. Her look is edgy to more than just sullen suburban teens who run to Hot Topic on the weekends during mall cruising. She’s a true entertainer.
We are the Roman mob, and Gaga is what we want. But will we feed on her to the point of killing her? She’s already postponed two concerts in the U.S. due to exhaustion. Just a few days ago, she nearly collapsed in concert in New Zealand. At the end of her tour, she will have performed more than 100 shows in less than 10 months.
Sure, in a sense her music is just a bunch of catchy, cheesy pop songs. Ever seen Robot Chicken? Is she only a bad break away from becoming Tila Tequila? Should we wait until her next album flops? Then, will she say and do anything to get attention because that’s all she wants?
“I was always an entertainer. I was a ham as a little girl and I’m a ham today . . . My goal as an artist is to funnel a pop record to a world in a very interesting way,” Gaga said on her official Web site. “I almost want to trick people into hanging with something that is really cool with a pop song. It’s almost like the spoonful of sugar and I’m the medicine.”
Gaga explains how she views her lifestyle, saying, “Pop culture is art. It doesn’t make you cool to hate pop culture, so I embraced it and you hear it all over The Fame. But, it’s a sharable fame. I want to invite you all to the party. I want people to feel a part of this lifestyle.”
She’s a classically-trained musical genius speaking to us cynics. Quit analyzing everything. Quit being the selfish, elitist minority trying to get everyone else on your musical level. What comprised musical entertainment for a caveman? It wasn’t complicated. It was simple. And it’s still the same today. Good music was and is one that makes you move, makes you dance.
Still don’t agree? Look, it’s pretty simple. If you still don’t understand why she’s so clutch, let me just sum it up this way: She’s the queen bee. She tells all the other bees what to do.
So, who wouldn’t respect the singer telling the girl dancing with me at the club to “Let’s have some fun this beat is sick/ I wanna take a ride on your disco stick/ Don’t think too much just bust that stick/ I wanna take a ride on your disco stick.”
She’s like Scott Spiezio’s heroic home run for the Angels in the 2002 World Series. She’s the ultimate wingman.
Julio Cespedes is a senior majoring in biological engineering. He can be contacted at [email protected].