It must be one of the biggest lies we were told. The problem is that we were the one telling it to ourselves.
I came to college expecting the utmost level of independence and responsibility. I’m 18, and I go to college; I am a grown-up, and I can do it all.
But just this last weekend, I went to Mugshots with a few friends 30 minutes before midnight. They would not let us in because we were under 21. All we wanted to do was eat. But apparently, we are still not old enough and not big enough. I am a college freshman, and I still cannot do whatever I want.
When I was 6, it was reasonable to think being 10 is when I would be old enough to do everything. Those boys in fifth grade could go to the bathroom all by themselves. They could brush their teeth really well by themselves. They definitely could eat all the sweets they wanted because they were old.
But that was a lie we told ourselves. Our parents told us we could cross the street by ourselves when we grew a little older, but they never spoke of the eating sweets as we please. We just assumed, and when you assume, you make mistakes.
The mistake keeps repeating itself throughout the course of our lives. When I finally reached the age of 10, I realized how little I could do. Now, those who were 13 were teenagers and they could do whatever they wanted. They were real grown-ups.
But that was just another lie. At 13, you still cannot drive and you cannot go out late. You cannot go out of the house without asking permission from your parents. You start anticipating your 16th birthday, but you still know all the magic happens when you turn 18.
You turned 16 and you finally started realizing all the lies you believed those past years. Now you could buy a car and own something valuable. You had a driver’s license signifying you were old. Or maybe just older.
And we grow older, you and I. Turning 18 must be one of the greatest moments of our lives. A person is fully independent then. I no longer need my mom’s and dad’s signature when filling my financial aid application or signing a housing contract. I don’t have to listen to anyone. I can, but it will all be my choice and only my choice. No one can force me to go to school or college. No one can force me to eat my entire portion of broccoli. My voice matters now; I can vote and make an impact in the world.
But then, we went to college and again, disappointment. We try to go to Mugshots late at night and they ask for our ID. We tell them all we want is to eat because my friends and I are starving, but they apologize because they cannot let in underage people.
What a lie! I thought that I am old enough to do whatever I want. I am 18, but still young. All of us, freshmen who are still exploring the world and making decisions on what classes we are going to take and what major to declare – definitely we grew up. We can think for ourselves. I know how much toothpaste I need to brush my teeth. I can stay up all night if I choose to, but I also have enough sense to know what time is best to sleep on weekdays and weekends.
There is no such thing called being a grown-up. We grow up all the time. We will keep growing up until our time comes to lay down in the soil. We have been lying to ourselves all this time.
As long as there is someone older than me, I will always aspire to grow older and be able to do what he does, whether that be drinking, owning a car, being a senator or starting my own business. When I was in first grade, I looked up to fifth graders, then I looked up to eighth graders, then I wanted to be a high school sophomore and then I wanted to be a senior. And then I went to college.
The secret is revealed, and I guess this would be one of the most valuable lessons one could learn in college. But am I not aspiring being a college senior or junior now? Definitely not.
It’s time to really enjoy being a freshman, goofing around and hanging out with friends, going out on road trips and adventures and meeting new people who come from all over the world. There is always a higher stage. There is always a star far ahead to be discovered. There is always a new place to visit.
For now, I will just have to get to Mugshots early to eat. I just have to live with it for now, until I change the rules or turn 21.
Abdallah Abu Ghazaleh is a freshman majoring in electrical engineering. He can be contacted at [email protected].