I’m ecstatic that many Americans have managed to turn an unprecedented murder spree into a debate on gun control. It’s also great that we can argue about something without citing any specific studies or statistics. Americans? More like “Outstanding Scholars of Logic and Science.” American journalists have once again remembered their lessons in ethics. About two days after a student killed 32 people and himself, journalists released a video of the shooter spouting incoherent messages about the debauchery of the wealthy and comparing himself to Jesus Christ.
Now, Americans – including Virginians – can watch a video without understanding any of it, raising paranoia to an all-new high. Thank you, American journalists, for watching out for us, for ignoring the importance of context and for getting better ratings.
Special thanks to the shooter’s former teacher, Nikki Giovanni, for showing an attention to detail during press interviews.
Giovanni told CNN, “I know we’re talking about a troubled youngster and crap like that, but troubled youngsters get drunk and jump off buildings; troubled youngsters drink and drive.”
Thank you for pointing out that we’re discussing “crap like that,” you deft wordsmith. Also, I commend you for trying to be a psychologist. And a psychic: “I knew when it happened that that’s probably who it was,” she said. Perhaps I should refer to you as “Professor X.”
And a big, fat, hearty, bloody glorious gracias to former FBI agent Brad Garrett. When asked by a journalist about why this student performed such a horrid act, Garrett, on national television, explained, “The ‘why’ is not important.”
So even though the shooter referred to the Columbine shooters, and even though people in schools are being shot, we shouldn’t worry about why any of these shootings are happening. We shouldn’t examine the drive or cultural factors behind these crimes. I name thee Batman.
My deepest mourning goes out to the families and friends of those who were killed, including those who were related to and acquainted with the shooter. Perhaps one day America will be prepared to respond in a more respectful and intelligent manner.