Waiting…
Lions Gate Films
Starring: Ryan Reynolds, Dane Cook and Luis Guzman.
The Verdict: “Waiting…” shows potential as a top-rate comedy but ends up being a second-rate rehash.
Movie: 2 of 4 stars
Extras: 2 of 4 stars
Despite some undeniably funny material, “Waiting…” feels like a remake of Kevin Smith’s “Clerks” in a restaurant.
Justin Long plays Dean, a veteran in the waiting game, who doesn’t know what he needs to do with his life. The manager of ShenaniganZ (Dean’s workplace) offers Dean a job as assistant manager. He is scared his co-workers and friends will hate him if he takes this new and higher position.
This is the boring material that nearly destroys the movie. Not to mention that director/screenwriter Rob McKittrick modeled Dean’s character after the main character in “Clerks,” only this time he’s not funny at all. He complains, he muses, he seems like he will weep at any moment-and he’s less entertaining than swilling vomit.
Meanwhile, wisecracking Monty (Ryan Reynolds) shows newcomer Mitch (John Francis Daley, the quintessential geek) around the workplace, taking special time to explain a game the male employees play (think flashing genitalia).
Although deviant sexual acts were explored more than enough in “Clerks,” this is where “Waiting…” succeeds the most. The game between the male workers is demented, but it’s something you could imagine people doing in real life. Plus, Luis Guzman goes into explicit detail about the many strategies involved in the game, garnering a few laughs with his veteran tact.
Unfortunately, for every funny idea or character this movie offers, expect a limp punchline or wasted role. First, what is Andy Milonakis doing in this movie? This fat sloth should never be in a comedy, unless it’s making fun of him. Second, all the female roles are sub-par. The women either scream or flirt with customers, and neither has been funny since the 1940s. Finally, watching a cook tamper with food is definitely a “you had to have been there” moment. Especially after the screenwriter uses the scene over and over because he’s bored with his own derivative writing.
Surprisingly, I almost thought, “Thank God this movie has Ryan Reynolds,” because he’s one of the only players who entices any figment of humor. Of course, it’s the same character he played in “Van Wilder,” “Blade: Trinity” and “Buying the Cow,” but his sarcasm actually comes off as sharp during a few lines.
Perhaps the biggest problem is “Waiting…” seems like it has a conscience. The best comedies have no serious social commentary or life lessons that the audience may procure. McKittrick slips up with the script because instead of letting us love these characters for being entertaining and witty, he allows them to develop unnecessary world views.
For example, Reynolds’ character jokes about having sex with underage girls throughout the majority of the film, focusing on his future conquest of the restaurant’s sweet young host. But he loses his perverted nature near the end of the movie.
McKittrick’s direction has more consistency than his script. The film is suitably fast-paced, just like the restaurant business. During one immensely long take, McKittrick giddily swings the camera around every facet of the restaurant, bringing back cool memories of when Quentin Tarantino did the same in “Pulp Fiction.”
More than likely, only someone who has experience as a waiter or cook will appreciate the little things in “Waiting…”
Having worked at a deli, I often remembered some of my own experiences in the business, particularly when Dane Cook facetiously handed bleu cheese to Long’s lame, crybaby character.
But all the inside jokes in the world couldn’t save “Waiting…” from its true form: a modernized, mainstream, watered-down comedy that could have been excellent. You only have to look at Daley’s final speech to see the potential of McKittrick’s talent.
Make no mistake: even though this film seems like a cool movie that almost happened, it certainly eclipses the majority of the formulaic comedies that plagued 2005 (“The 40 Year Old Virgin,” “Hitch,” etc.). In hindsight, it’s sad second-best is about as funny as the film world can get now.
Extras are short and not sweet. The DVD offers a dozen deleted scenes that last about six or seven minutes in total. None of them are worth your time. The outtakes reel starts off OK, then it evaporates into moronic, repetitious banter.
“That Little Extra,” a documentary that runs about 20 minutes, is the best feature of the mix. It takes you through the aforementioned, eye-catching long take and even has one of the best pranks I’ve seen on a film set, a joke involving McKittrick and Guzman.
The only other extra worth mentioning is the “Uncut and Raw” nature of the DVD. Sure, the “Uncut and Raw” phrase is more overused than toilet paper, but this version of the movie should catch the majority of its audience off-guard with a certain clip. Be warned. Or pleased. Whatever.