Stepford Wives
Paramount
Availability: Now
Starring: Nicole Kidman, Matthew Broderick and Christopher Walken
The Verdict: Subpar performances and oddities leave audiences wishing this was on remake never made.
Movie: 1 1/2 stars out of 4 stars
Extra Features: 2 1/2 stars out of 4 stars
In the contemporary film world, remakes become more common by the day. A few match or eclipse the originals (“Ocean’s Eleven” is a great example), but most fall into the total-waste-of-time category. Behold, “The Stepford Wives,” an unexciting romp for equally uninteresting feminists.
Joanna Eberhart (Nicole Kidman) is a thriving television exec who supports woman-empowering reality shows such as “I Can Do Better.” After a completely ludicrous plot turn occurs, Joanna loses her job and listens to her puny husband Walter (Matthew Broderick) complain about their failing marriage. Joanna and Walter move to Stepford, a Connecticut town for perfect families and shallow get-togethers.
As Walter attends meetings for the male townsfolk, Joanna realizes everything is too ideal: the Stepford wives always smile and cook, and they never question their husbands’ authority. Along with a best-selling woman author, Bobbie Markowitz (Bette Midler), and a gay man (more of a distraction than a useful character), Joanna delves deeper into the mystery of the obedient homemakers.
Kidman throws likeability and good touch out of the window; Joanna, the film’s protagonist, rarely gains your sympathy and comes off as a loud feminist Nazi. Even worse, when Kidman brings sincerity to her character, “Wives” has an identity crisis-is it a biting comedy or a lame talk show for spouses?
Meanwhile, Glenn Close skips around like a preschooler on speed as the wife ringleader of Stepford. While this childish behavior ties the plot together, the performance should have been disturbingly hilarious. Alas, Close only delivers cringes.
Perhaps “Wives” suffers most from Broderick’s indifference. Usually a deft and entertaining actor, Broderick looks disheartened as if he would like to be back on Broadway with “The Producers.”
Although it’s a small consolation, Christopher Walken nearly makes this experience bearable, staying faithful with his formula of the suave weirdo, but his appearances are brief.
Supposedly, this story of forced female submission should be scathing, enticing and smart. Unfortunately, it accomplishes none of these things.
Irritating characters and aged social commentary do not spark demented chuckles, but they do make “Wives” an utterly tired, safe and unintelligent picture.