Today’s society is very success-oriented. Being the best is the primary objective; in essence, winning is everything. Accomplishment is indeed important and should be our goal. In our desire to succeed, though, many of us have forgotten the significance of losing.
Nobody likes to lose. That fact is very evident with some people. There are several graceless ways people react to being beaten. Some people refuse to accept defeat; they claim the other person cheated, the contest was unfair or the official liked the other person better. Others react with anger. They rant, rave, pitch fits and berate anyone who comes into contact with them. Still others react with depression. Every time they fail at something or are beaten, they bemoan their worthlessness. Losing is both an unavoidable and an integral part of life. People cannot remain unbeaten throughout their lifetimes. In some way, they will experience defeat.
Losing is an integral factor in character building because it is an effective teacher. Both our great victories and daunting defeats remain in our memories; however, the defeats generally elicit stronger emotions. Pangs of shame and disappointment haunt those memories. Losing is painful and certainly not desirable.
However, learning to accept losses gracefully is a skill that will serve you throughout life. One of the ways that people judge your character is by observing how you react to being beaten.
When you experience a loss, do not simply get mad or torture yourself with regret. Learn to control your emotions. Do not lose it every time someone excels over you. Instead, consider what choices resulted badly and why those were poor choices. Examine the winner’s actions and why he was successful. Accept your defeat and internalize what you learn from it. It has been said that experience is the best teacher, after all. Also, others will respect you more if you have a controlled reaction to your defeats.
Realizing that there is a potential for defeat makes one act more carefully. Also, defeat can be utilized as a major motivator to succeed. Some of the most exciting victories are ones in which a person triumphs over someone who has beaten him previously.
But the most important aspect of being a graceful loser is one’s reaction to a loss. Ungrudgingly acknowledging the other person’s success and humbly accepting your own is certainly difficult. A little humility, though, can teach one a lot. Once you accept that you are not going to be the best at everything, life will go more smoothly.
Although losing is generally an undesirable and often painful experience, it does not have to be completely negative. Focus on what you can learn and how you can improve. Realize your deficiency in a certain area and seek to improve it. Learn from your mistakes instead of simply getting upset by them.
Losing once does not mean that you have failed completely. If you allow yourself to improve through a loss, then already you are more advanced than you were previously. Ralph Waldo Emerson once said: “Men succeed when they realize that their failures are the preparation for their victories.” If you want to be a winner, it is important that you first learn the right way to lose.