You know that moment when there is no way to hide from the judging eyes of those that just witnessed you embarrass yourself in an excruciatingly public way? Here are a few examples of those moments your fellow persons have chosen to exploit.
The names in this piece have been changed in an attempt to protect the innocently embarrassed. Some of these moments were provided by your fellow students’ lives, others from thatawkwardmoment.net, and the rest from some socially-impaired minds around the District.
· You are obligated to wash your hands because someone else left the stall at the same time you did. – Fran F.
· You trip up the stairs coming out of a class full of freshmen. – Rosey Baby
· An obese person says to you, “That’s how I roll.” – Pat McCrotch
· You hum “Red Robin…” And no one replies, “Yum…” – Ronald McDonald
· You spend a dollar on a bag of air and someone put chips inside. – George Bush
· You’re deep-sea fishing and you see Adele because she’s out rolling in the deep. – Bill Clinton
· A girl that’s about 15 pounds skinnier than you says she’s fat. – Monica Lewinski
· Someone asks you what is wrong and, ironically, it’s them. – Hillary Clinton
· You accidentally send a scandalous picture… to your dad. – Forrest Gump
· Someone says “hey,” to you and you say, “Good, how are you?” – Katy Perry
· When a chunk of white plastic can pull off an outfit better than you. – Lady Gaga
· Cinderella, Snow White and Sleeping Beauty all realize they married Prince Charming. – Jasmine
· You are buying Plan B and your psychology teacher is behind you buying Preparation H. – Uncle Jesse
· Sweatpants are the only things that fit you right now. – Regina George
· You realize you’ve been introducing him to everyone as the wrong name. – Topanga
· You catch yourself singing the FreeCreditReport.com jingle when you’re not alone. – Dr. Meredith Grey
· You’re checking your hair in the reflection of a car window and someone rolls down the window. – Lil Wayne
· You forget the words to a timeless classic song in front of a crowd. – Led Zeppelin
· Your dad asks to borrow a condom. – Richard Simmons
· You realize John F. Kennedy’s murder was a conspiracy. – America’s Youth
· You realize you are biting the end of a pen you just borrowed. – Marilyn Monroe
· Jerry tells you, you are the father. – Arnold Schwarzenegger
· You drop the ball, and it’s not New Year’s Eve. – Charlie Sheen
· You realize you are not as smooth as you think. – Keith Stone
· You start crying when you close your bar tab … on a Monday night. – Anna Nicole Smith
· You get sent home for bringing guns to school when you were just wearing a muscle shirt. – Pauly D.
· You lock the doors to your car because of the people around, and they hear the simultaneous lock. – Bubba Gump
· You vomit in the student section in a $3 souvenir cup. – Celine Dion
· You hug someone from the back and turns out you have never seen them in your life. – Zach Galifanakis
· Someone says you are their best friend, and you consider them a little more than an acquaintance. – Barbara Streisand
· Your friend goes to the bathroom, and you’re left alone with her parents. – Kim Kardashian
· You wave back to someone waving to the person behind you. – Aretha Franklin
· You know exactly what you would do for a Klondike bar. – Madonna
· Tim McGraw and Nelly have to go to a psychiatrist because it’s, “all in their heads.” – Faith Hill
· Forrest stops running and you don’t know where to go. – Jenny
· Your nanny turns out to be your ex–husband disguised as a 60-year-old British caretaker. – Mrs. Doubtfire
· You finally muster up the confidence to tell Katy Perry you didn’t like the kiss as much as she did. – Ellen Degeneres
· You are on a dirty website and your computer freezes. – Pamela Anderson
· You walk into a gay bar, and no one hits on you. – Lindsay Lohan
· You realize you’re the ugly friend. – Screetch
· You misspell baby and your girlfriend thinks you are cheating on her with a girl named Abby. – Polly Pocket
· You thought of the plot of “Twilight” years before Stephanie Meyer but thought it was the dumbest idea you ever had. – Britney Spears
· When Chris Brown sees a hot girl out and says, “I’d hit that.” – Rihanna
· You’re reclining back in a chair at the Bin 612 and fall back. – Barbara Bush
· You can’t tell your friends it all started with a friend request. – Anthony Weiner
· Chris Hanson from Dateline NBC walks into the room. – Detective Elliot Stabler
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That awkward moment when…
EMMA HOLMES
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October 17, 2011
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