The ancient Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu once famously said, “Qian li zhi xíng, shi yú zú xia.” Now, I’ve only had three semesters of Chinese, so my language comprehension skills aren’t so great, but if I were to attempt to translate that into some semblance of English, it would look like this: “Journey 1,000 miles OK, start with single step next.”
So what meaning can we draw from Lao Tzu’s quote? Well, for starters, just because you lived thousands of years ago, that’s no excuse for making incoherent sentences. Also, if you’re planning on traveling 1,000 miles, you’ll need to start by taking the first step. This, of course, assumes you’re traveling on foot. A more modern equivalent might read something like “A thousand mile journey begins with an unpleasant experience going through airport security.”
But it could be Lao Tzu’s quote refers to a metaphorical “1,000 miles OK.” Perhaps his point is that any great undertaking has to have a beginning, possibly at a funeral home. (Ha! Get it? Undertaking? Never mind.)
I like to keep Lao Tzu’s quote in mind during the month of January, the time of year when I make my resolutions for the months to come. Incidentally, January is also usually the time of the year when I break my resolutions. It turns out Lao Tzu’s wisdom loses a lot of its inspirational value somewhere around the second step in my metaphorical journey.
But this year’s resolutions are going to be different. Why? Because this year I’m committed – I’m going to take initiative and stay motivated and focused.
Nah, just kidding.
This year’s resolutions are going to be different because I’m lowering the bar like crazy. My typical resolution from previous years looks something like “start working out.” And for whatever reason, I can’t ever manage to stick to those resolutions. This year, I’ve devised a resolution that is realistic, will genuinely benefit me and most importantly, doesn’t require any real work on my part.
I’ve resolved not to injure myself this year. After all, how hard can that be? I don’t normally go out of my way to cause myself physical injury. And yet for each of the past two years, I’ve wound up on crutches for one reason or another. In 2008, I sprained my right ankle playing racquetball, and as soon as it recovered the left one got sprained. (I think it was jealous of all the attention my right ankle was getting.)
And then at the beginning of this past Christmas break, I managed to take out my right knee while skiing. (The story’s not very interesting, so I’m going to embellish it a little.) On one of the steeper slopes, just as I was reaching a nice irresponsible speed, I stumbled and flew forward headfirst, at which point one of my skis twisted at a bad angle. This twisted my knee at a bad angle. Then I was attacked by a grizzly bear. The end result of all that was a partial bone fracture in the knee.
So, since I’m starting to get tired of hurting myself, my new goal is to make it until 2011 without any injuries. This may be difficult, especially given that my right knee still hasn’t recovered from December’s ski incident. (And the left one’s starting to act attention-deprived.)
To help increase my likelihood of success, I’ve devised a four step plan that I think I can stick to for the course of the year:
Step 1: Exercise less. This one’s pretty straightforward. If I spend less time doing any kind of physical activity, I’ve got fewer opportunities to hurt myself.
Step 2: Start eating unhealthy. If my diet takes a nosedive, I should gain enough weight to better protect the more fracture-able parts of me like, bones.
Step 3: Get less organized. Picture this: I’m walking around in my room, and suddenly I trip and fall. Good thing there’s so much dirty laundry lying around all over the floor to break my fall.
Step 4: Spend more time playing video games. I haven’t figured out a way to justify this one yet, but I’m working on it.
All four of these steps together should help me reach next January safe and sound. And even better, when I inevitably break my resolution and do the complete opposite of one of those four steps, I might just be a better person for it. Hell, with any luck I’ll finally start working out this year by resolving not to.
Thanks to Lao Tzu, I usually succeed at the first step. Maybe I should renumber them.
McNeill Williford is a senior majoring in industrial engineering. He can be contacted at [email protected].