Love is such a nice word. And it’s something we’ve all experienced in some measure. We love our families, our boyfriends and girlfriends, our friends, our favorite blue jeans. We love going dancing or playing basketball. We love pepperoni pizza and chocolate ice cream.
The word love is used frequently today. I’d say it’s even overused. It has become a word that we just toss around flippantly, applying it to whatever we happen to feel pleasantly toward at the moment.
Think about this. Is the love you have for your favorite shirt the same feeling that you have toward your closest friend? I would hope not. But why use the word love for both feelings?
The modern overuse of the word love has watered down its meaning. If you tell someone you love them today, what does that mean? Does that mean you have a deep and lasting affection for that person that will not change based on his behavior? Or does it simply mean that person is on your good side right now?
A simple word has no meaning in itself. We decide the meaning of words by what we choose to apply them to. In the case of the word love, we have started applying it to more and more general things. The original meaning behind the word has become lost in modern language. Our culture loves many things in word, but not in truth.
Love is a serious concept with many facets. The English language doesn’t do the best job of capturing the full meaning of what love truly is. Using one word to describe such a range of affections stretches the word and makes it less meaningful.
In ancient Greek, there were four words that denoted love: storge, philia, eros and agape. Each of these words meant love, but in a different sense. The Greek language was very precise in its wording. Words had specific meanings, which allowed for a more accurate explanation of one’s feelings.
Compare these Greek words to the current idea of love. Modernly, true love is hard to describe. It’s hard to recognize. Could that be because we don’t know what it means anymore?
The first Greek word for love is storge. This describes affection due to familiarity. This kind of love applies within families or among those who find themselves spending a lot of time together.
Philia means friendship love. This is a love free from romantic feelings, described by Aristotle as virtuous and dispassionate. Philia is stronger than storge because it’s more by choice. It develops when people choose to spend time together for a specific reason, usually because of some type of common interest. Although philia is technically not romantic love, it’s a basis for the development of that kind of love.
Eros is Greek for passionate love. It’s most often associated with sexual desire. It’s not a necessary part of love but usually accompanies romantic love.
The final word for love in ancient Greek is agape. Agape is an active, rational, self-sacrificing love. It’s often associated with the love that God has for humanity. It’s unconditional, meaning that the object receiving the love doesn’t do anything to especially deserve it.
These four words comprise the ancient Greek ideas of love. It’s interesting to note that there is not one singular Greek word to describe romantic love. All four words, when meshed together, form an extremely strong bond. This is the kind of love that most would picture as ideal, because it has all the best elements of each type of love.
Apparently, the ancient Greeks took the word love seriously. And so should we. Love should not be a word that we toss around whenever something happens to please us. When I use the word, I want it to mean something.
So be careful when you say the “L”-word. Think about what you are saying. Do you really love that peanut butter milkshake, or is it just really tasty?
If you make it a point to restrict your use of the word, people will notice more when you do say it. By cherishing the word love, you make it special again. You give it more value.
In short, people will appreciate your love a lot more when they know that it’s something you don’t easily toss around.