In August of 2002, when I was matriculated to the great Mississippi State University, I had a head full of ideas about what to do and how things were to be done.
For example, I thought I would get into the habit of waking up at 6 a.m. every weekday for a regularly scheduled workout. Go ahead, laugh. It is so ridiculous that it is quite humorous.
I also thought that missing class would cause me to do badly in my coursework. Missing class actually seems to make me study more … as I later discovered. Anyway, my point in this is that expectations were not always met as I thought they would be. Now it’s time to graduate, and I am left to wonder what I have learned or accomplished during my time here.
During freshman year, I set one goal for myself as an MSU undergrad. It wasn’t to attain a 4.0 GPA (boring!), stave off the freshman 15 (shouldn’t that just be common sense?) or get along with my roommates (in retrospect, that may have been a better goal). NO! Much nobler than that, my goal was to assemble a team and acquire a copious amount of duct tape and change the word “UNION,” which was previously displayed on the front of the Union (go figure), into the word “ONION.”
However, with the recent demise of the Union, I have been rendered a failure. An undergraduate failure. How do you like that? Anyone want to look up the Latin word for “failed to accomplish undergraduate goals” so that I can have that printed on my diploma, since that’s as close to any Latin distinction I’ll be getting (summa cum laude, go bye-bye). I knew that I should have gone with the 4.0.
Not that I’m bitter or upset about that or anything.
The fact is that I am staring graduation in the face and am scrambling to come up with something to show for it. Hanging out with a bunch of college-aged kids ranging from 18 to 24 this weekend gave me a new perspective on my life.
I met people from all over the country, and, as it so often happens, I realized there are people out there who are 10,000 times smarter and more dynamic than myself. It also made me realize that I have changed a lot and learned a lot during my time as an undergraduate at MSU, which is the ultimate college experience. Right?
Really, I could try to pull off that line with my parents, but I’m fairly certain that it would garner little more than laughter in my case. What have I gained? What have I learned? I could rack my brain all night, but I suspect that I will only be able to come up with the following nougats:
ܬ You are 78 percent less likely to get a ticket for parking outside of your designated zone on a rainy day than on a beautiful autumn day, when the leaves are crunchy and a smooth breeze is coasting in from the northwest. That number is scientific, by the way. After all, I am almost a biologist.
‹¨ There will never be a day of no construction on MSU’s campus. The current strategy of “let’s build it and remodel it and allow the money to be sucked out of our fists as quickly as possible” has proved to be roaring success. For instance, hardly a day passes that I don’t hear the workers outside hammering away at the renovated Lee Hall auditorium. The sound is a comfort now, as it reminds me that my tuition and tax dollars are hard at work financing a venue that will be used sporadically throughout the year. Indeed, the simple thought warms my heart!
ܬ The saddest day of your life will be the day that you discover how many calories are actually in those coffee drinks that you consume ritualistically each morning.
Four and a half years of education, and that’s it. I can do math (percentages!) and economics (tax dollars!) and more math (counting calories!). Oh yeah, and I also know where the caudal mesenteric artery can be located in the body of a dead mink.
Oh well, it’s been real and that’s all I can say about that. Have fun and good luck with your undergraduate goals, even if they pale in comparison to my most awesome ones. Go get ’em, tiger.