Almost everyone speeds. Whether it’s 5 mph over the legal limit or 25, there are few among us who do not indulge in their Nascar driver fantasies every now and again.
However, when we do oblige the speed demons and drive faster than we should, there is the constant threat of blue lights flashing in the rearview mirror. Yet I’m here to tell you to worry no more, comrade … the threat of speeding tickets has passed. Henceforth, you should think of these fines not as punishment but as taxes. A tax on driving fast, if you will.
View the system as a progressive tax system in which you pay higher amounts of cash for the privilege of driving faster than the other cars around you.
“What is the value of being able to drive faster than the 16-year-old kid in the Mustang next to you?” you say. “How can you put a price tag on being able to accelerate from 0 to 60 mph in a school zone?” you ask. Let me tell you: Any monetary amounts levied against your person are worth peanuts when compared to the pride that comes from being able to drive faster than all of the kids left eating your dust. And whoever came up with the “Doubled Fines When Construction Workers Are Present” signs was just trying to dare you.
The best way to work within the system is to either (a) drive faster than the speed limit all of the time or (b) obey the speed limit at all times. For example, let’s say that Person A drives 10 mph over the speed limit on his way to class in the morning, but obeys the speed limit on his way home. Person B, however, drives 10 mph over the speed limit on her way to class in the morning and on her way home in the afternoon. One morning they are both cited by the fuzz as a threat to society and as chronic speed-limit-breakers.
If Person A and Person B are both driving 10 mph over the limit and fined $200 (and it’s the only citations they have received all semester), then Person A’s average toll per speeding trip at the end of the semester is $2.67 ($200 fine divided by 15 weeks of school, multiplied by five days of class per week). Person B’s average toll per speeding trip is $1.33. If you drive your vehicle in excess of the speed limit on both your trip to and from campus, your cost per trip is cut in half. Thus, it pays to speed. Of course, your other choice is to drive at or below the posted speed limits at all times (boring!).
Don’t get me wrong, plenty of risks are associated with this behavior, but how can any of those keep you from experiencing the joy of having the wind blow through your hair, chicken-sized June bugs smash into your windshield and baseball caps flying off your head at 80 mph instead of 70 mph? Make your speeding tax assessment more fair by getting the most for your money. “Drive Fast Often”-that’s my motto. It’s simple economics, really.
Closing thought: don’t let The Man get you down, drive as fast as you want, but remember to have your checkbook locked and loaded.