When did Halloween costumes go from ghosts and ghouls to sexy animals and apathetic T-shirts? Honestly, probably about the same time “Mean Girls” became a cult classic, and Regina George’s bunny costume became the standard for a quality costume. It’s time to take it up a notch. Slutty animals have seen better days; let’s not beat that dead horse any longer. Here are some ways to transform some of the worst Halloween costumes of all time into something fresh, new and unique.
1. Animals– Why? Why, why, why, why, why? When did being an animal for Halloween become so taboo? At this age, the slightest indication of considering being an animal for Halloween earns you a condescending glance and an eye roll. All because Regina George has given bunny rabbits a bad rap. You know what’s way funnier than a slutty cat? An actual cat. I was a cat for Halloween in the third grade, and it was freaking adorable. Plus, last time I checked, real cats don’t show much skin. They’re furry! If you’re going to dress up like a cat, wear clothes.
2. Sarcastic T-Shirts-Halloween is nothing if not an opportunity to share your individuality with everyone in your neighborhood. If your costume of choice is a plain white tee with the words “This Is My Costume” hastily scribbled on the front, what message are you sending? Have some dignity. Show some self-respect. If a legible T-shirt message really is your cup of tea, harness the opportunity to display that witty one-liner you’ve been saving all this time. Or better yet, wear regular clothes and tell everyone you’re a Muggle. Keep it clever; keep it simple.
3. Couples costumes– When did couples costumes like “plug and socket” become a thing? Come on. What is your grandmother going to say when she sees those pictures on Facebook? She’ll probably have a heart attack on the spot. There are so many less offensive ways to get creative with your significant other. Celebrity couples, literary lovers and Disney darlings are all fair game. Pick something unique to your relationship; don’t be afraid to show your personality as a couple.
4. Pretentious TV characters– Nine times out of 10, if your costume is obscure enough to warrant a nametag, it’s verging on pretentious. Dressing up as your favorite “Downton Abbey” character is creative, but if you have to explain your identity to every other person at the party, odds are, you are trying too hard. Don’t try to outsmart your friends with an overly witty costume. Sometimes less is more.
5. Decades– Cool! You put on a tie-dye T-shirt! So you’re, like, a hippie! No. If you’re going for a decade’s theme, pick an actual historical figure from an actual decade. Anyone can throw on a poodle skirt and call it a night, but it takes someone special to claim the identity of Sandra Dee from “Grease.” Pick a historical figure you admire and impersonate him or her for the night. Elvis may have left the building, but you can still purchase his costume for $64.99 at Party City.