As my days as sports editor began to dwindle, I feared I would not have a reason to slap on the Fu Manchu and Jules chops one final time.
Nothing had made me mad enough this season to lay a mushroom cloud.
Thank you, Bob Stoops, for your incredulous whining and thanks to everyone that screamed, “Vulgar offensive travesty!” at the opening of “Monday Night Football” that featured flashy Philadelphia Eagle wide receiver Terrell Owens and “Desperate Housewives” star Nicollette Sheridan.
First, I will start with Stoopsie. After Auburn tied Oklahoma in the AP Poll, Stoops complained at his weekly press conference that ESPN analysts had sacrificed journalistic integrity to execute an agenda for getting Auburn into the Bowl Championship Series’ National Title Game because of the television contract between ESPN and the Southeastern Conference.
Auburn has been on ESPN twice this season, embarrassing Tennessee at Rocky Top and doing the same to the Rebels in Oxford.
Well, Bob, you coach at Oklahoma, a Big 12 school. This year that league ought to be called the “Big Two, mediocre other two and lackluster eight.” Nonetheless, the Big 12 has television contracts with FoxSportsNet, Turner Broadcast Station and ABC, the sister company of ESPN.
ABC will once again air every game of the BCS, including the title game. Oklahoma will be on ABC seven times this season if they beat Baylor and make the Big 12 Championship.
So please, for the love of Stoops, disregard anything said by ABC analysts about Oklahoma in any of those games just in case those analysts have had or develop an itch to sacrifice journalistic integrity.
Now for the pros and a promotion by ABC before the “Monday Night Football” game between the Eagles and the Dallas Cowboys.
The network had Owens appear in game uniform and Sheridan greeted him in the locker room in a towel.
Sheridan asked if Owens had rather spend time with her and dropped the towel. Viewers saw Sheridan’s bare back as she approached the ready arms of Owens, his first catch on a three-touchdown outing.
Immediately after, FCC sticklers threw a penalty flag and coaches and owners around the National Football League condemned the promo for its sexual innuendo, saying that it was inappropriate for the “Monday Night Football” audience.
I’m sorry. I did not realize the same league that’s marketed the bare-tummied Cowboy Cheerleaders for years would be offended by a woman’s bare back.
Those ladies were on the Texas Stadium sidelines and pictures of them are available on the Cowboys’ Web site.
I’m also sorry that the same audience that sees countless commercials glorifying beer and twins could not handle Sheridan’s back.
Lighten up on life or tighten up your hypocrisy.
Email Craig ‘Jules’ Peters at [email protected].