“What do you want to do after you graduate from college?” I asked the girl with the blonde ponytail sitting next to me in my general psychology class.
“I want to get married,” she replied, without the slightest hesitation.
“Duh!” she seemed to scream at me.
“I’ve been planning my wedding since first grade,” she added matter-of-factly.
It didn’t matter to her that she didn’t even have a boyfriend-her goal during college was to find a husband.
She had already selected that age at which she would get married (22), the color of her bridesmaids’ dresses (pink) and her flowers (white roses).
“Isn’t marriage every girl’s dream?” her tone and expression implied.
“No!” I wanted to retort.
I was a Northern girl. I had just moved to the South to go to State, and I had never met a girl whose purpose in attending college was strictly to find a husband.
Didn’t this girl know that marriage does not replace a career?
Didn’t she know that women do not have to get married to find happiness?
Hadn’t she ever seen “Sex and the City,” which glorifies singlehood and shows that-surprise-even 40-year-olds can be happily unmarried?
I certainly did not want to get married immediately following college. I wanted to trek around Europe, not walk down the aisle.
I had no idea what my perfect wedding dress would look like. I was busy shopping for “going out” clothes.
I had not mentally selected all of my bridesmaids or picked out flowers. I daydreamed about my future writing travels and writing career.
I hoped for love, not a wedding. I dreamed about finding my soulmate but not about our wedding day.
Of course, I also wanted to get married.
However, I did not consider it a goal that I had to accomplish by a certain age. I figured that it would happen when it happened.
Because of my independent nature, I thought that it would happen later instead of sooner.
Two years later, I started dating The One. I was only a junior in college.
By the fall of my senior year, I had an engagement ring and was planning a June wedding.
Suddenly, picking out china and silverware excites me. I sign my future name-Jennifer Jackson-repeatedly in my notebook.
I have picked out the perfect wedding dress, bridesmaids’ dresses and a wedding site by a lake.
I haven’t picked out the flowers yet, but I have hired a florist.
I am fulfilling the goal of that girl sitting next to me in class during my freshman year. I haven’t forgotten about my dreams, but I realize that they have changed.
I won’t live alone in Paris, but I will visit with my husband. I will pursue a writing career and eventually raise a family.
You can’t schedule marriage into your life, and you can’t plan ahead for it. But you have to make adjustments when the right time comes.
People should not get married on a whim, like Britney Spears, nor should they get married only because they have been dating for five years.
They should get married because they truly love the person and know that they will do everything to make the relationship work.
People say that the first few months of marriage are the hardest.
For me, they must be easier than the months during which I realized that I had become one of those girls who I thought was selling out by marrying young.
Jenn Rousey is a senior English, French and communication major. She can be reached at [email protected].