Every college campus has its fair share of outdated architecture. Usually this means a dorm painted in the puke-green color so popular in the ’60s, but here at Mississippi State, we have some truly strange buildings and structures that defy your stereotypical ugly building. First of all, let me say I have no experience with architecture or engineering, so I have the advantage of being the idiot critic. Despite my credentials (or lack thereof), I think a lot of you can agree with me on how hideous some of these buildings are.
First off and most obvious, we have Suttle Hall. This dorm looks like an apartment complex from 1980s Soviet Russia that was painted Barbie pink as an afterthought. Don’t worry comrades – we’ve been meaning to demolish it for the better half of this decade. For the past several years, every prospective student who takes a tour of the campus is assured by their guide, “Oh that ugly thing, we’re going to blow it up this year.” Perhaps what makes Suttle so bad is its central location. It is in one of the worst imaginable places: close to our beautiful chapel.
The next strange structure on campus that makes me cock my head in confusion is the chandelier in the lobby of Allen. The designers must have been sitting around, drinking on the job, when someone said, “Wouldn’t it be awesome if we played a giant game of Tetris from the ceiling and passed it off as art?” Negative, Ghostrider, it didn’t turn out awesome. It turned out looking like a giant stalactite hanging from the ceiling.
Without a doubt, the Union is one of the coolest buildings on campus. It is new and shiny and practical. Oh, and did I mention we have a Chick-fil-A? But despite the Union’s awesomeness, there is one thing that has been bugging me: Where are the ceiling tiles? Again, I think the designers were drinking and forgot to put them up, and then when they ran out of money, they decided to keep the exposed rafters and pipes look. Oh well, I’ll be a happy consumerist just as long as I get my 12-piece chicken nugget combo with Polynesian sauce and a Dr Pepper.
If you’re heading off campus on University Drive toward the Cotton District, you’ve no doubt seen the last building on campus: the Hunter Henry Center. This building looks like it could launch off at any moment and rejoin the mother ship. It’s something straight out of an L. Ron Hubbard book. I’m going to go out on a limb and say this building is a sinister plot by Tom Cruise and other Scientologists to take over MSU.
For number five, we have the odd oval-shaped artwork on the lawn across the street from Dorman’s greenhouses. Besides being just plain old ugly, the artwork has been called provocative by many. I like to call it the “Do you have a dirty mind?” sculpture. I’m sure the guy who made it (French artist Antione Poncet) is still laughing. It’s his version of the picture that, depending on your perception, is either dolphins swimming or naked people. I guess that means I have a dirty mind.
For number six, let’s go to Engineering Row. Old engineering buildings, check. Old ROTC building with an epic cannon, check. A Burger King with triple stack Whoppers close by, check. A random assortment of Grecian columns jutting up from the ground . wait, what? It’s as if the archeology in the Cobb Institute of Archeology wasn’t clear enough, so they had to erect pre-aged, faux columns just to be sure everyone was clear. Imagine if a random stoner was dropped in front of the columns: “What? Whoa, I must be tripping, man. Am I in Greece, dude?” Nope buddy, you’re in Starkville, Miss., population: 24,000. Enjoy the cow pastures, potholes and fried food.
The bottom line is, yes, we do have some ugly and odd buildings, but we are also fortunate to have a very beautiful campus. In my opinion, we have the most beautiful campus in the state. That’s right, Oxford, you can have your Grove (and your basketball coach); we’ve got the Drill Field.
Honorable mentions: the Architecture College (also known as the barn) and Rice Hall (also known as the mental asylum).
Matt Morgan is a sophomore majoring in sociology. He can be contacted at [email protected].