During a recent trip to Seattle, I found myself in the company of students representing schools and hometowns from around the country. Naturally, everyone talked a little differently and-afraid of being stereotyped-I became more careful about my own speech.
No “fixin’,” no “gonna,” no “ain’t” and above all, no “y’all.”
Apparently, these words scream “Southern” and “Mississippi” to the world. That’s not a problem in and of itself. However, many people think of Mississippians as ignorant and backward.
This leads to wonderful questions that show who really is ignorant, like, “Do you wear shoes?” (No, I bleached my feet and tattooed swooshes on them.)
Or, “Do you ride horses to school?” (Sure do. In fact, I was walking behind one just yesterday and I wasn’t looking. That’s why the soles of my tattooed feet are so dark.)
Fortunately, nobody at the junket committed such a faux pas. Still, I didn’t want to take any chances.
“Fixin’,” “ain’t” and “gonna” vanished with no problem. With a little conscious thought, “fixin'” and “gonna” became “about” and “about to.”
I should not have worried about “ain’t.” I didn’t use it, but the guy from Massachusetts did. Apparently, “ain’t” is a regionalism that has grown into a “nationalism.”
“Y’all” caused problems.
There I was, sitting in a room full of journalism majors trying not to fulfill the backward Southern stereotype (Y’all is not blessed by journalism’s godhead, the AP stylebook). I raised my hand and was recognized for a question.
Against my intentions, my subconscious chose the best word to address my audience. It is not the proper “you,” nor is it “you guys” or even “you all.” It is “y’all.” Defeated by my subconscious, I gave up and use “y’all” throughout the weekend.
Why was I so compelled to use “y’all?” It clearly was not pride. I purged “fixin'” and “gonna” easily enough. On the way back to the airport, I found the answer.
“Y’all” is simply the best word for the plural second person.
English books insist on using “you” for both singular and plural. Naturally, this often leads to confusion.
No other English pronouns suffer from the problem. Clearly, a distinct word is needed for second person plural. Candidates abound, but most have their weaknesses.
Some might say “you guys” is the word for the job. They’re obviously scum of the earth sexist pigs obsessed with their own manliness. Or they may just be from Iowa.
Either way, somebody is going to complain about how “you guys” is unfair and try to change it to “you girl/guys,” “you persons” or “you beings who may or may not be either male or female, but of indeterminate sex and/or gender.” I’d rather just avoid the whole thing.
“You people” has some promise. Sadly, it already has a purpose. It’s used to address groups of people who are collectively irritating, incapable or incompetent.
To me, it has about the same ring as “damn, dirty apes” did to Charlton Heston’s hairy friends. Being addressed as “you people” makes me feel like a telemarketer.
“You all” is not much different from “y’all.” It sounds similar, but it has two syllables, partly defeating the purpose of using a pronoun-laziness.
It also makes moving more difficult. Say, “I’d like you all to help me move tomorrow.” Everyone will agree, not show up and lie the next day, “Oh, I thought you said ‘U-haul.'”
So “y’all” is the perfect word for second person plural. I will never again be ashamed to use this most excellent word.
It is clear, concise, gender-free and it forces friends to help move the 50-gallon fish tank that looks perfect between the Anna Kournikova poster and the stop sign.
Using “y’all” improves the English language.
There is one more thing. The progressive may wish to use “y’all” not just in speech but in writing. “Y’all” is spelled with the apostrophe between the y and the a.
Spell it any other way and it’s backward and ignorant.
Nathan Alday is a senior aersopace engineering major. He can be reached at [email protected].