I enjoy the fact, in some weird and twisted way, that as I get older, I must put forth more effort to maintain the things that I enjoy.
One of my friends used to warn me about the fact that many things we do as young people are things that we only do because of the phase that we’re in or because of the environment that we’re exposed to. My friend was always saying that most people will act like they want to devote their lives to some big dream or to whatever seems to be hip at the time only to look back on it years later and think that they wasted time being so idealistic.
That may not make very much sense. So, here, in regular Joy fashion, is an example: While I got to know the friend who used to warn me about phases, I developed an interest in art. I also developed an interest in making art and making music.
I used to talk about how much I loved art and how much I wanted to be an artist. He constantly said things to me like, “Do you really want to do this? Is this just an effect of the fact that you’re in college and that it’s ‘cool’ to be into this kind of stuff?” While my initial reaction to his questions and/or doubts was defensive, I began to respect his skepticism. It made me want to talk less about what I liked, to act upon those inclinations and to become, by action, the person that I wanted to be.
This is important now because I have a choice about the direction my life will take, mainly based upon the things that I find intrinsic to my personality and to my happiness.
I believe that it’s much harder to actually stand behind the things that you say than it is to say them. If I want to be an independent person with a career that I love, then I must get off of my bottom and take risks that will put me where I want to be. I must not only make goals, but also be willing to do whatever it takes to achieve them.
I feel like we often think of dreams as impossibilities. We think, “Man, it would be nice to do so-and-so,” but then we get scared or intimidated and undervalue ourselves. I do this all of the time. I get excited about grad schools or about job opportunities, and almost as soon as I get excited, I tell myself that I’m not smart enough or talented enough to make the team.
I tell myself that the aptitude I’ve shown so far is only beginner’s luck. I couldn’t really be good at something. I couldn’t really make a difference. I couldn’t really become what I want to become. That’s just asking too much. Too many people fail.
I am sick of knowing people who talk about doing things. I am sick of having good ideas that I let slip into the background and die. I do have talents and abilities, and I am a smart person. It is time that we all began thinking that way. Why should we undervalue ourselves? Is it because we live in a small state or because we think that our dreams are too distant to ever become realities or because we only listen to stories of failure instead of victory stories?
I’m not advocating ignorance. Bad things do happen. People fail. But a lot of people don’t even try. We resign ourselves to mediocrity before we even attempt to rise beyond it. That’s where the real problem lies.
Joy Murphy is a senior English major.