J. L. Bailey is an unclassified graduate student. He can be contacted at [email protected].Over the Labor Day weekend, three-term U.S. Sen. Larry Craig announced his intention to resign on Sept. 30 amid mounting pressure from Senate colleagues.
After a restful holiday Craig now states that he plans to remain in the Senate providing his Minnesota plea can be withdrawn.
With Michael Vick’s attorney now in his corner the toe-tapping senator believes his silly mistake does not merit resignation.
A quick recap: on Wednesday, Aug. 29, Craig, R-Idaho, proclaimed in a news conference, “I am not gay.”
This pronouncement followed his Aug. 8 guilty plea to one (reduced) misdemeanor charge of disorderly conduct after his June 11 arrest following an incident in the men’s restroom at the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport.
An undercover police officer stated that Craig, 62, propositioned him from an adjacent restroom stall.
Apparently, it is common for such thrill seekers to stake out airport, train station and other public restrooms. The person stakes out the possibilities, enters a stall and sends certain hand and foot signals into the next stall in hopes of securing a brief stall date.
According to an investigative article on Aug. 28 by Dan Popkey of The Idaho Statesman, Sen. Craig’s stall stalking and solicitation propensities date back many years.
One individual interviewed by the Statesman stated he had engaged in oral sex with Craig some time during 2004. There were also alleged incidents dating back to 1982 and even one report of an incident in the 1960s while he was a college student.
You’ve got to hand it to Lonesome Larry. The ability to take things into his own hands, especially with a total stranger, requires interpersonal skills reserved only for a select few. Gives new meaning to the term blind date, doesn’t it?
Admittedly, there are many things that transpire on this planet that fly right over my head.
I just cannot fathom the bathroom stall scene. And Craig’s explanation in his arrest report does nothing to clarify his denials.
In an interview with two airport police officers, Craig stated that his “wide stance” caused his foot to slide into the next stall making contact with the undercover officer.
Wide stance? What type of stance does a person need in a stall?
The last time I recall mention of a wide stance was while playing wide receiver on the football team during my junior year in high school.
One day our receivers coach approached me and said, “Bailey, you need to widen your stance out a little more.”
“OK, coach,” I replied.
That occurred on a football field.
A few years ago I read in a newspaper that a certain rest stop west of Starkville was closed along Highway 82 because of intimate activity resulting in the arrest of several prominent individuals for solicitation and/or lewd conduct.
Poor Motel 6. What a drain on such a fine establishment. Nowadays a 3-by-5 bathroom stall appeals more than a place that will “leave the light on for you.”
The kicker to this story is not that a senator pled guilty to a misdemeanor. Members of Congress involved in homosexual activity are not uncommon: Gerry Studds, Mark Foley, Barney Frank and, several decades ago, Mississippi’s own Congressman Jon Hinson.
Larry Craig’s superb hypocrisy reveals one who preaches family values and castigates those who practice lifestyles that he deems unacceptable. He bashes, full throttle, moral insufficiencies in others. But his personal life betrays his rhetoric.
According to the police report taken at the time of his arrest, Loathsome Larry toe-tapped and sent invitational hand signals to a total stranger inviting him to the two-man party in a crowded little toilet space for one brief shining moment.
Seasoned senators like John McCain, R-Ariz., and Pete Domenici, R-N.M., began the chorus for Larry Craig to resign.
Americans forgive and at times forget. But we forgive most freely those who step up and say, “Yes, that’s right. I have engaged in homosexual relationships and have not been truthful with my family, the people back in Idaho and also the American people.”
But no. Not Lying Larry.
Reports reveal that Craig did not inform his wife and family of his June arrest.
It was first reported recently by Roll Call, a Capitol Hill newspaper.
If I may add a word of advice: Senator, don’t clog up the men’s room playing your toe-tapping, body twisting dirty dance.
Call 1-800-Motel6.
Get a room.