Now I don’t know, but I was always told that variety is the spice of life. The sad part is that most people these days don’t want variety. Most people would rather have the Six-Dollar Cheeseburger that costs $4 than a cheeseburger that actually costs $6. It is a sad day for us when we prefer the bottom line on our meals instead of placing value according to taste. But I will say this in defense of the Six-Dollar Cheeseburgers and the Big Macs of the world: they’re at least equal to one another, no matter where they come from. That’s something mankind can’t accomplish.
I’ve seen countless times (on TV, in movies, everywhere) that we’re all supposed to be equal. What a great idea. I mean, wouldn’t the world be much better if only we could all be truly equal? I would love to be a sexless gray mass of flesh, wrapped in a sumo suit, especially if everyone else was the same way. If we could all be that way, wouldn’t we be more equal?
While we’re busy being equal, we might as well outlaw speaking too, because everyone doesn’t speak on the same level and not speaking on the same level might draw attention to the fact that we’re not all the same.
Oh, and we better open more orthopedic surgeon clinics, so we can all be the same height. After we cut the bottoms from all the tall people’s legs, they’re going to need some help standing up. I’d rather help them stand than have them be able to stand on their own if their height wouldn’t be the same as mine.
The list of things to make equal goes on and on, but who can really make us all equal, and who will be setting the standards for what the norms will be? Who can we find that will look at the entire human race objectively enough to know what’s really equal?
It seems to me that it would be more fun to try to make everyone equal than let them live their lives in whatever way they see fit. And if anyone stands up against this great equalizing system, we’ll label them with today’s Newspeak vocabulary. We’ll call them sexist, ethnocentric, backward, ignorant, rednecks or whatever makes them chafe the most under their burden of inequality. Such is the price, after all, for resistance to progress.
Eventually, we’ll be able to use the media against everyone who retains their inequality. We’ll brainwash them into seeing no colors, only gray. What a wonderful world this will be. I can’t wait.
Categories:
Equality is boring
Wright Sanders
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February 9, 2002
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