Hillary Clinton recently affirmed – to my great indignation – that she would be running for the American presidency in 2008. Most voters in Mississippi hate Hillary anyway, so for once I’m not in the political minority. However, it’s also true that younger Mississippians are more likely to vote for a Democrat, and some of them may be fooled into voting for Hillary. In other words, there are probably students reading this right now who would consider voting for her.
If you think you might be a future supporter of Hillary, read this next sentence carefully. You will only be voting to hurt an already battered country if you support this woman in the next presidential election.
Notice that I’ve thrown a journalistic standard out of the window. The common rule is that after a journalist mentions someone’s name once, the journalist will refer to the person by last name throughout the rest of the article.
So why have I opted for “Hillary” instead of the professional “Clinton”? Well, the former first lady isn’t actually married to Bill Clinton. She has another marriage that supersedes any earthly endeavor. Moreover, I don’t think Satan’s last name has ever been revealed.
If you’re familiar with Christian theology, you know Satan envied God’s power and might. Now, for this analogy to work, you have to forget that Bill Clinton was a liar and, at times, idiotic. But Hillary very much envied Bill’s position. Like husband, like wife. Again, when I say “husband,” I’m not talking about Bill.
Evidence of Hillary’s thirst for power was her immediate goal of becoming a senator of New York. She didn’t waste any time. She knew her fake husband would be out of the office in 2001. It’s not a coincidence that she began her career as a senator in 2001.
Now she wants the presidency. Big surprise. George W. Bush will be out of the picture, so she has a fighting chance.
There’s one main reason not to support Hillary in any way. She was one of the senators who voted to renew the Patriot Act last year. For someone who claims to care about education, this was quite the strange vote, since the Patriot Act has stifled learning about the Middle East. According to the College Art Association and other critics, the law has curbed academic research.
Hillary has also not shown any reasonable arguments about America’s involvement in other countries. In 2005, she said the insurgency in Iraq was failing. According to usatoday.com, Hillary said: “The fact that you have these suicide bombers now, wreaking such havoc and violence while people pray, is to me, an indication of their failure.”
You have just read the most illogical statement about Islamic fascists you’ll probably ever behold. Hey, they kill themselves and others during prayer because they will resort to anything to do what they think is God’s will. That’s not a sign of failure but a sign of ruthlessness that can’t be conquered easily.
Of course, CNN.com reported that Hillary is against Bush’s plan to send even more troops to Iraq. Instead, she wants more troops in Afghanistan. I guess the message here is that it’s OK to kill people as long as you’re killing the right people.
More importantly, how will our government ever manage to provide health care to everyone as billions of dollars are spent on war after war? Hillary can’t answer that, even when you consider that she wants everyone, especially children, to have health care.
No one should ever believe Hillary when she claims that she wants better education and health care. In reality, she just wants the government to keep killing people – albeit in a different place, what a novel idea – and limiting a free discussion about the Middle East on campuses across the country.
Satan, I’ve got to hand it to you – you chose a bride who shares two of your most infamous traits: envy and lying.