Q. My boyfriend and I both have busy schedules that clash. I have school and I’m involved in many campus activities. My boyfriend takes 20 hours of classes and even has a night job. We both are under a lot of stress, trying to remember meetings, events and classes that we are supposed to attend. What can we do to manage our time for school and for each other?
A. Go to Wal-Mart or a bookstore and buy a student planner. Those little planners could be a lifesaver for you and for your relationship. Pencil in the different events and meetings that you are required to attend. Then take a moment to look at your planner and your boyfriend’s to see when both of you have spare time.
Ask your boyfriend if he is interested in joining some of those campus activities that keep you so busy. Obviously he can’t join your girl’s soccer team or sorority. Think of something that you both do on a regular basis, such as eating. A girl’s gotta eat, right? Ask your boyfriend to meet you somewhere to eat with you. Make this a part of your daily routine.
Tell your boyfriend to take off work at least one night out of the weekend. Make this night a date night for the both of you. Use these date nights to catch up on the week’s events.
Something that may also be helpful to you would be prioritizing your time. What’s more important, being involved in many activities or spending time with your boyfriend? Working extra hours at your job or achieving a 4.0? Those are a few questions you should ask yourself.
If being this organized with you and your boyfriend’s schedule is too complicated for you, ditch the planner and throw it out on the side of the road. Or maybe the thing you need to ditch is your boyfriend. Tell him you have more important stuff to do. Maybe he’ll understand.
Q. To make a long story short, my girlfriend is driving me insane. She expects me to be some kind of Prince Charming, and that’s not like me at all. I don’t care about all that romance hoopla. Do you have any ideas to get her off my back?
A. Well, Prince Charming, in order to please your unhappy princess, you’re going to have to swallow your pride and give her what she wants. All you need to do is a few little things.
For starters, give surrounding florists a little business and buy her flowers. It doesn’t have to be for an occasion. Send her flowers just because. If that doesn’t work for you, leave little notes in her car, in her mailbox, in her notebooks or just wherever.
From a girl’s point of view, most girls love surprises. Surprise her and reserve a table for two.
If going out to eat at a nice restaurant is not your kind of thing, try other options. Plan a picnic at a nearby park. Make her a candlelit dinner at your place. If you live in a dorm or somewhere with a smoke detector, then skip the candles and just dim the lights. We don’t want to see your name under the Bad Dawgs section of the newspaper for burning your dorm down. Just let the magic happen on its own.
This may be hard for you, but skip a night of hanging with the guys and take her on a special date. Be creative. You could even take her on a weekend adventure out of town. It could be a camping trip under the stars or a weekend in a nearby city.
Call her for no reason, just to say hello and that you are thinking of her.
While you’re alone, watch a chick flick to get an idea of what girls think is romantic. Chick flicks could be your answer to everything.
Try to turn over a new leaf and become your girlfriend’s knight in shining armor. She’ll appreciate any gesture that you make. Always remember that it’s the little things that count.
Q. Now that school has started back, my boyfriend and I are constantly doing something. if it’s not school then it’s a party or going out. But some nights I don’t want to go out. I just want to stay at home and be with him. I tried telling him this, but he says we should go out with our friends to the bars instead of staying home one night. Sometimes I am too exhausted to go out at all. How can I get through his thick head that I want a night off?
A. OK. Check his vital signs to see if he is breathing. If he is, make him clean out his ears to see if he can hear you a little more clearly. Now that you have his undivided attention, don’t beat around the bush. Tell him exactly how you feel; although you do enjoy the whole party scene with friends, you also enjoy the alone time with each other. It may also be wise to tell him that you are dating him, not your friends.
Next time that your friends call you and ask if you want to go out again, tell them that the two of you have other plans.
Take a moment to look at the friends that you both constantly hang out with. Do you notice something about them? Maybe they’re all single. Why do you think that is? Could it be that they’re all single because they never spend time outside of their inner circle to meet new friends? Or maybe they lost their significant others because they didn’t spend enough time with them.
You and your boyfriend need to reach some sort of compromise. Tell him that you enjoy spending time just with him. But don’t expect him to spend 24/7 alone with you.
Please him and your social needs by spending a few days a week with each other and the other days or nights with your friends.
Have a quiet night at home watching movies or hanging out with just each other. There’s a little picture of a red phone on one of the buttons on your cell phone. When you’re friends call, push it. Then you can throw your phone across the room and snuggle up to your honey.
Michelle will answer readers’ questions. E-mail them to [email protected]