Q: I recently found out that my girlfriend of almost nine months cheated on me when we first started dating. She begged me to forgive her and promised that she only did it because she never thought we would ever get this far. I’m certain she hasn’t done anything since then because she’s with me 24/7 and there is nothing else to question. Now that we have gotten this far, I don’t know whether to forgive and forget or to break up with her for being unfaithful.
A: It must be difficult to love someone and be deceived by them. It must be difficult to put all of your trust in someone only to lose that trust in one quick moment. It must be difficult to be devoted to someone who in turn betrays you.
This is a tough mountain to climb. But it’s not an impossible hike. You can look at this two ways: One-she’s a conniving woman who will never love you the way you love her. Or two-she’s a human being who made a mistake and wants to reclaim your trust and love.
If you decide she’s not so good and she never loved you in the first place, you have your answer. But then you have to decide whether or not you can live without her. You must love her a lot or else you wouldn’t be questioning whether you still want to put up with her horrible eating habits or the way she makes you hold her pink purse while she fixes her hair.
Chances are, both of you don’t want to have just wasted the last nine months sitting in Starkville together, so listen when she apologizes; it’s probably for real.
Naturally you’re going to be suspicious as to whether or not she will continue to love you and be faithful. But you are the only person who can decide whether you think she is telling the truth now.
I’m a big believer in the idea that people change when they find the love of their life. And it looks like this girl has. Or at least found someone who she wants to lay in bed and watch movies all day with.
If your girlfriend is being truthful when she says she wants to be with you, and only you, this hump will only make your relationship stronger. In other words, it’s probably OK to forgive and forget. Everyone deserves a second chance.
Crystal will answer readers’ questions. E-mail them to [email protected].