Q: I think I have feelings for my ex girlfriend’s older sister. Neither one of them knows how I feel. Should I try to pursue her sister or not?
A: Don’t use the fact that you two aren’t together anymore to justify going after her sister. You could be crossing dangerous lines.
There are thousands of fish in the sea. Don’t go after the poisonous one if you don’t need to.
But, if you genuinely have feelings for the other sister, go about this dilemma with great caution. You may need to look around for a helmet and some pads if you decide to pursue your ex’s kin.
First, a sister’s bond is usually extremely strong and should not be messed with. Think about how this may affect her friendship with her sister.
If you believe you would be causing more damage to their relationship if you tried to date her, leave the issue alone. The sisters’ companionship has priority over your crush. They’ll both attend the family Christmas gathering in 50 years-will you?
But, don’t take advantage of your ex’s approval of the relationship.
Her leniency doesn’t give you permission to wake up the next morning across the hall in the house they played dolls together in.
If you really have your heart set on dating your ex’s sister, talk to her about it first.
What would she think about you potentially breaking her older sister’s heart?
If your ex has shown kindheartedness in the past, then she may not be as bothered as you may have suspected.
Your ex’s feelings on this situation will probably depend on how serious your relationship was with her and how long you dated each other.
If your ex understands and isn’t upset by how you feel, still try to keep in mind that the other sister may be disturbed by your new directed affection.
Just keep in mind if you intend to date the older sister that immense feelings are at stake.
You screw this one up and you have daddy, brothers, uncles, grandfathers, half-cousins and even the family hamster wanting you dead.
Crystal will answer readers’ questions. E-mail questions to [email protected].