I am a man. While some of you may question this due to my dependence on Reba McEntire and muffins, I promise I have all the parts needed to qualify as one.
I feel the urge to proclaim this not because I am insecure in my masculinity, but because I have taken up a habit many believe is only reserved for the lady folk. A habit that makes me appear weaker than Herman Cain’s resume.
I love to cuddle.
There, I said it. Here I stand, with frank and beans attached, proclaiming my love for some serious spooning, some hot and heavy hand holding, some above the forearm fondling. I can’t get enough.
Apparently, I am not alone.
A recent survey in England found men more likely to enjoy cuddling, with half of women saying they avoid it because they are too tired and want to go straight to bed. Men even claimed they get mildly upset if they do not get a goodnight kiss and pre-slumber hug.
I am sure you read this study and came to the same conclusion as I: This is just another damning piece of evidence men should be sleeping with other men. Women are too insensitive and only want us for our wallets and bug-killing abilities.
If you did not draw such analysis from the study, perhaps you can at least agree having a body against your own is quite pleasant.
If not familiar with the basics of cuddling, let me spoon you some of the lingo. Any good cuddle session has two roles: the big spoon and little spoon. The big spoon is the one doing the holding while the little is being held.
Gender, height and arm length often dictate what role each person takes. These positions can be reversed, especially if the big spoon’s favorite sports team loses.
Ideal cuddling conditions include below-average room temperature and your spooning pal knowing what to do with his or her hands.
Now, I must admit I am only a part-time cuddler. That is I like to begin spooning, drift apart while sleeping and then reunite to phase one as we wake. Some say this is not true cuddling. I say you need to shut your mouth because it is none of your business how I conduct my petting sessions.
Anyway, being able to wind down while holding someone you appreciate is calming and therapeutic. It’s as if the stress you incurred throughout the day exits with each breath your bedfellow takes. As his or her heartbeat decreases, so do your worries.
How could men come to enjoy something so mundane while more women are choosing to dislike it?
The man gets to protect and wake up not alone when he cuddles. I have no idea what the woman feels (remember, all man here), but I encourage her to at least fake enjoyment of this activity. You fake other things, what is one more?
By wrapping his arms around that little spoon, the man gets to feel like he is keeping everyone safe. Even the manliest will admit nothing beats having a warm bed, no alarm clock and your body interwoven with someone you appreciate.
So to all the men like me out there, I say let’s lie together and make it known we will not be cast aside for body pillows, stuffed animals or the toy from Fantasy Land.
We will not be embarrassed by our need to hold or be held.
Spooning is here to stay. If you do not like it, I say go fork yourself.
Patrick Young is a graduate student in public policy and administration. He can be contacted at opinion@reflector.msstate.edu.
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Spooning serves up some fun
Patrick Young
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November 10, 2011
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